Saturday, July 21, 2012

I didn't drop off the face of the blog world . . . Yet. . . I don't think . .

Things have been good.  But just Good, and then not too hot, and then you know, OKAY.  O.K.A.Y.  And we have been happy in OKAY for the last few months. 

It’s the middle years of being a police officer.  About 7 years right now, some of that time in the jail, some on the road, but 7 years seeing the trash society spits out can make a person well. …..Just OKAY. 

There is nothing wrong with Okay, only that it is not great!  T-rex and I have also been married for almost 9 years. . .we are doing Okay.  Well sometimes we are doing WOW AWESOME!!  And other times I try to think of places to put the body . . .but that’s all okay.

T-rex is getting to the point where the job is just another job, and that is fine, we all get that way with things.  I have days where there is nothing you can do to get me motivated to take care of the kids, so I do it halfass and call it day.  Other days I am like amazing mom with book reading powers and owe kisses to save the world.  Yeah I rock that much!

I guess the hard part for me right now is that I can’t see my life without T-rex being a police officer in some way.  He is part cowboy here; it is in his blood kind of thing.  Without that he would change and so would I.  There is nothing wrong with change, and I want him to be happy, but he is a police officer and I am a police wife that is just how it is.  So seeing the satisfaction level drop a million points is hard.

Not to mention in a life where there is no stability I just now found some and he isn’t really feeling it.

I wonder if he and the department can get some therapy like couples therapy?  I wonder how that would even go:

T-rex: “You made me miss dinner again!”

Department: “It’s because I need you!”

T-rex “You gave me a bad evaluation on something I do amazing awesome on!”

Department “I am sorry!  You are so much better than you have been this last week.”

T-rex “yeah well, I haven’t gotten any sleep, and I don’t want to deal with dumb people anymore”

Therapist: “how could you two help each other to be better to one another?”

                                Oh T-rex if only you knew that now that your eyes were open to the dumb people you would see them everywhere for the rest of your life.  If your wife can spot a drunk driver now there is no hope of going back.

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