Thursday, May 26, 2011

How To: Get your cop to stop drinking out of the milk carton, or stop any of the other million things he does that gets under your skin.

So with talking to my mom and other wives I have found that guys just don’t get it. T-rex is great at leaving his socks in the living room! Here is a short list of things to try with your cop to get him to stop breaking the rules:

1. Write a violation handbook, complete with fines for each violation. Such as:

           a. Drink out of milk carton ~ wash all the dishes

           b. Leave socks in the living room ~ do all the laundry

2. Get a ticket book, to make it look more official

3. “Jail time” likely will not work as the cop tends to have some fancy toy in his room, not to mention he will still think bedtime is a conjugal visit!

4. Get the kids to act as undercover officers to bust him

5. If all else fails get the girls at NPWA to give you a shovel!

***This is dedicated to my loving husband who has mastered the art of drinking out of the carton when my back is turned for just a second. I love you babe!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

And BOOM it is all Over.

A recent post at A POLICE WIFE got me thinking.

Her post is great so go check it out.

Oh what I was thinking about? It’s another round of in Yellow’s head!

I get a very vivid imagination some times. And when T-rex gets called out for the SWAT team my mind goes crazy.

I can picture him in a building, with all his sexy gear on. The dark camo is hardly visible with the lights off in the building. The big boxes are stacked as high as one can see. It is a maze of storage stuff and machines. He has his big riffle pointed down some long corridor as he is crouching behind a stack of big boxes near the end of the hall. He is sweating, but focuses. He sees a flicker down the hall, the bad guy is getting closer, two more seconds and he can make his shoot.

RING! His phone goes off, it lights up in his front pocket. The latest dirty song starts to play as his ringer, getting louder and louder with each passing second. Panic hits his face, fear and anger (think cartoon here). Boom, the bad guy aims for the glowing noise maker right above T-rex’s heart.

Back at home I get his voice mail. “Hey babe just wanted to know if you wanted pork chops when you get home.” I hang up and try not to worry. An hour later I get the knock on the door.

And that is the real reason I avoid calling T-rex when he is at work.

The whole thing plays out in my mind whenever I have the desire to call T-rex when he is at work. Luckily this is getting less and less. It never lasts long, it’s not like I can afford to live my days worrying where he is going to find a big abandoned warehouse in our small town. I don’t even think our town has a building with machines in it! I think I watch too much TV.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Summer is here

I have had mixed feelings this last week. T-rex is off to training again. This class is not going to last too long. But it still has me missing him after one hour. The logical cop’s wife’s brain tells me that is not a big deal, the mom and wife in me is just ticked off that he has to go.

He is learning about meth clean up and all that stuff. I guess he gets to learn more of the in and outs than before. When I was whining telling my dad about this he said “well that is good, if the cop thing doesn’t work out he has a backup plan.” So see I get my strange humor from my father!

I think this whole thing would not have been too bad but T-rex took his pillows off the bed. So every time I go down there my bed looks dumb! No one likes a dumb looking bed. But that I could deal with. What I cannot deal with are all the moths! There are like a million of them and I have a very big phobia to moths. I will yell and scream and cry like a baby if there is one even in sight.

The little girls had a moth in their room last night. Do you know how hard it is to tell your 5 year old to not be afraid of something when you are going to pass out!? It was a long night.

In other news the kids are out for summer! I am happy to report they passed and will be moving on . . . but I am not too sure I am happy about it. Lilly is going to be in 2nd grade! That is like big kid stuff there. And Dino, who got A’s in everything but ‘Talks to much’, will be in 1st grade! She will be going to school all day. Even Rae will be starting school next year. She will go two days a week in the afternoons. They grow up too fast.

It was this time last year when T-rex was getting ready to go to the academy for the deputy position. It seems like it was just yesterday and forever ago at the same time.

Oh and I am putting this out here for everyone to read so they can hold T-rex to it. He is going back to college!!! I am just about done, 5 more classes and I should be done. . if I don’t fail Spanish again. Yeah I neglected to tell you my grades . . .I got two As and a B. . .and a U (which is really an F for F@#$, fail.) This is the first time I have ever failed a college class and it does not feel too good. T-rex already has like almost half of his classes taken from the academy. He should be done with his associates in no time.

Well, that is all for now. But I do need some good summer ideas with the kids, if anyone has some let me know!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

A ride along with one big baby.

I got to go on a ride along with T-rex. I hated it. I hated the radar, the radio, the music, the speed, the driving, the hills and turns, and I hated the talking to random people who are already doing something illegal, or dumb. I will never go out again.

There are police wives who are babies, they sit in their chair, kiss their husband goodbye and wave out the window with their handkerchief as they blow their nose. Then there are the strong wives, who could be out there with their husbands, they are strong, know the dangers and fight back against bad guys too. I, my dear readers, am the former. I am okay with this. I much rather go back to the days where I thought he drove around and did nothing all day. Even if I knew that was not true it was easier to think that.

As soon as I got into the truck with T-rex I started to feel like a liability. I can’t say I really like that feeling. T-rex didn’t help with his run down of the rules. I mean I know this is his job, and he tells me these things so I can be safe, but I don’t like it. Right away we have to run off to catch a speeder. It was not that fun really. We didn’t get to speed, and I was okay with that. But the looking for a bad guy was not fun. The beeps of the Radar made my blood pressure rise. It was stressful. Then we did find someone going too fast, turning around in the middle of the interstate is not fun.

After that it was a 25 minute drive to go talk with drunks. I typically hate the road we had to take, and going 100 mph down the road didn’t help much. I was good until T-rex showed me how fast we were going. Once there talking to a drunk. All I could think was “I hope this guy doesn’t hurt T-rex, or have a gun, or . . “ you know all the dark dumb thoughts that we tend to push away. I understand why some cops come to think of everyone as a criminal. And that was only my first time seeing him work! Later in the night when he pulled over someone on the interstate my fears were worse. I worried about the other cars, the guy he pulled over and if he arrested someone. I had already made up my mind that if he arrested anyone I was going to get out of the truck and walk home.

I got to see firsthand how easily his job can go from calm to crazy, from safe to dangerous. I didn’t like it.

Yet, with as much of the stuff that I didn’t like I also got to see T-rex do what he loves. I got to see how great he is at his job. I got to see why some would like it. I got to see another side of my husband, one that I had not seen before. He was calm, professional, and well it was a little sexy. He was made for this work and I have nothing but respect for him and the profession. Mostly I had this feeling of “oh shoot, I thought his job was lazy, and I am too hard on him when he gets home, and I should clean the house more, make coming home something so great. I need to stop nagging about the kids when he comes home, and should avoid calling him but when he calls I should be happy he has a minute, and I know why he can never make it home on time.” I felt bad. I don’t like that feeling. There are a lot of things that are stressful about his job, and I felt like sometimes I add to his stress with my nagging, and yelling about the kids right away.

Don’t get me wrong, he needs to be nagged from time to time (any guy who says he doesn’t is full of it!) but I do hope that I can give him a moment to turn the cop off first. And that is something only he can do. He has done a great job at being cop at work and being dad at home. Seeing him become a different person on the job was scary, but it was also nice. So even though I am signing him up for banking classes I don’t think he will ever stop being a cop, and that is okay with me. I know he is great at his job, I know he is as safe as he can be, and I know he loves it.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Guns prevent Rape

I don’t tend to write about political stuff on here, and I like it that way. But there are times when something hits me and I just have to share it. I was reading MSN today when I came to an article about women and guns. You can find here>1=32060 , if it is still there.

The point of the piece was to share the ideas of Paxton Quigley, who wrote a book supporting the idea that every female should have a gun. I happen to agree with her, even though I don’t own a gun, but we will get to that later.

The article was bad in so many ways. Lets start with the fact that MSN is too afraid to say that guns are okay so everything was done in interview form. This might have been a good thing because they did not just come out and say guns are bad. But the questions were clearly geared to get the reader to question if guns could be a good think like Quigley is suggesting.

One question was “Rather than arming everyone, why not disarm everyone, and ban guns?” To which Quigley gave the typical answer that bad guys break the laws all the time and the laws only hurt good people. As true as that is, there is another piece of information missing. One that Quigley could have used in a few of the questions to put that thought to rest.

Girls are weaker than boys. End of discussion on this. All the feminists in the world can just get over it. Boys are typically much stronger than females, take 100 boys and they will be stronger than 100 females. Sure we get that female who is very strong from time to time, and we get that guy who is physically weak from time to time. But it is not a matching game, it is life and in life a female is more likely to run into a male who is stronger than she is.

So now we have a world with no guns. None. Not even the bad guys have guns now right. That’s great now on nothing but strength the bad guy can beat and kill the female. Wow that sucks. It would seem much better if the female, the weaker one, had something to even the playing field, the end the danger. Sure pepper spray sounds great, but as Quigley said you have to get close enough, then you get some in your eyes too because that tends to happen more than we like to think, then both you and the stronger bad guy are slightly blinded, at this point he bashes your head in a window (because you are close enough to spray him) and well you see where this can go.

Sure there is also the Taser. You know the one where you have to put it to the bad guy's skin, yeah see above for reasons that will not work. Then there is the kind you shoot like a gun. One shot, so don’t miss under such stress, and once it is shot the threat to the bad guy is gone. Let’s say you do hit but the cheap one you got at baby protect yourself outlet does not go past the clothing of your bad guy. Well that’s over isn’t it. Now let us say that it does get the guy, you get a whole 5 seconds, in panic you don’t run away after all it is hard to run away when you are holding the trigger. Bad guy recovers for long enough to pull the probes out and well its back to what it is.

Now some might say IF I shoot the bad guy with the taser he is not going to be able to do anything and I can get away. I want a 100% guarantee that is going to happen because I only get one shot.

The gun is the great gender neutralizer (not my words but I forget where I heard them) things are far more equal with a gun in a female’s hand, even if the guy has one. And so what if he does too, all guns work the same way, we all have the ability to shoot first, and shoot fast. If I am going to go out I want to go out fighting!

So yes I do agree Guns prevent rape.

I have not read her book yet, but it will be added to my list very soon. 

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Case of the Cop with No Phone Skills

I would like to defend my reasons for avoiding the phone now when T-rex calls. I present to you 3 different  calls we had in the last week:

Me: “Hey, where you home when we ran out to the store?”

T-rex: “um why?”

“The dog was let out, I didn’t remember letting the dog out.”

“Oh yeah, I had to come back I shot a bullet.”


“Training with MR. K”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

T-rex: “This Gun is F’ed up.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“The scope just fell off!”

T-rex: Out of breath “Hey babe, I am going to be a little late.”

Me: PANIC “are you okay?!”

“Oh yeah, it was just a chase”

“Oh my! Are you oaky?”

“yeah I got my hat back”

Okay, so you see now why I avoid the phone! He does it just to get me. The rollercoaster ride is enough to drive anyone nuts. But I am learning if he can talk on the phone it is likely nothing to get too thrilled about.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

From "Toy" to "Tool" and back again.

The truck sat just outside the house, freshly washed. Although the tuck was the oldest in the department, far past needing replaced, it was a shinning beauty that only an officer can love. The days that followed were filled with bringing stuff out to the truck, bring stuff in from the truck, talking about the truck, playing with lights, and washing the truck. I soon felt like the second wife. But the glory and pride faded as the tuck turned into nothing more than a work tool. The paint is faded, the letters are falling off and the occasional skunk hit is the only thing that signals it is washing time.

When I found out that he was getting a new truck the fear that I would once again be over shadowed by a truck hit again. I was ready for none stop talking about this new truck. So far I have been saved. In part because it takes time to get a new truck ready at the department before it is sent home with the guys. I hope that another reason for this is because he now sees it is just a tool for work, and nothing more. Yet part of me cannot help but see that the trucks do kind of become a second partner. He spends more time with that truck than he does with me at times. This is just the nature of the job I guess.

Still sitting outside is the old truck. I wonder if he is going to miss it. He knows all the little dints, quirks, and strange things an old truck does. He has spent so much time with the truck, heck even I might miss seeing it sitting there. It is nice to see that a new toy or tool does not bring so much change to our lives, it is just a part of the job now, once the lights are all played with first I am sure. We will see how things change when the, as the kids say, 2011 Taco, is sitting in front of the house. Until then I will just hope the department does not get new guns in the next few months!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Police Wife or Banker’s Wife

I have been trying to come up with a fair response to my last post (ME time), and truly most of what I have gotten is excuses. Oddly I am okay with that. I truly did write that post in a fit of frustration; at least I didn’t write about ALL things I was frustrated with….

But I did have to smile at the comments I got on that post. I am far from the wife and mother who think she can do it all. . .my first response to the comments was “wow you missed it all” and although I think things were miss it is only because I was just in whine mode.

I am far from the Do it all mom so many of us do try to be. Just ask anyone who has ever seen the mess I call a home! But there are stresses, and I do try my best. I cannot just blame this all on T-rex’s job as I am sure many other wives and mothers feel the total chaos at 3:45 when school gets out.

On the day that I posted my whine I was into day three that went something like this

3:30 ~ Get kids from school

3:45 Kids and I walk into the house to see that the dog made a mess in her crate.

Dino pointed out the dog also lost her tags, and shock collar (The dog is another stress all together!)

Lilly and Rae also ask within seconds of each other what is to eat.

3:46~ Dino asks what is to eat

I start to look for the collar for the dog

3:47 ~ T-rex calls, (At this point I have yet to even take off my coat)

I trip over a stick in the back yard looking for the dog collar

3:48~ Rae starts to yell that she wants the light on so she can pee

The dog starts to bark and will not stop

I am still on the phone with T-rex

Lilly demands I help her with home work

Dino Turns on the Tv even after being told on the ride home she cannot watch TV

3:49 ~ as I was only able to deal with about half of the issues they start again

Ray yells for the light

Lilly demands I read something, and then starts to tell me about her day at school

I get off the phone with T-rex

Dino asks for food in between counting to 50

3:50 ~ I give up on the dog’s collar

I pull out whatever snack I can find, Lilly does not like it and makes that clear

Rae will not put on her pants, so I deal with that some

3:51~ The fighting starts “Lilly is looking at me funny, Dino farted”

I spill the milk

At this point I am sure you can see how it went. It is not that I am busy trying to get everything done, it is that for about 45 minutes everything is total chaos. Add in a few checkbook mistakes that get caught during this time, and round it off with a new mess and tada! That is it. The rest of the day may go great, or like most I deal with little kids fighting. But the hour after school is a total mess.

I am sure I am not the only one who deals with this stress, and it just got too much for me the day I posted. I wanted to run away and hide until after dinner. I know that this is a feeling all mothers get from time to time, and no matter what T-rex’s job I would have wanted to trade him places.

I think one thing I am going to do to cure this is change my name from Mom to something the kids don’t know!