I got to go on a ride along with T-rex. I hated it. I hated the radar, the radio, the music, the speed, the driving, the hills and turns, and I hated the talking to random people who are already doing something illegal, or dumb. I will never go out again.
There are police wives who are babies, they sit in their chair, kiss their husband goodbye and wave out the window with their handkerchief as they blow their nose. Then there are the strong wives, who could be out there with their husbands, they are strong, know the dangers and fight back against bad guys too. I, my dear readers, am the former. I am okay with this. I much rather go back to the days where I thought he drove around and did nothing all day. Even if I knew that was not true it was easier to think that.
As soon as I got into the truck with T-rex I started to feel like a liability. I can’t say I really like that feeling. T-rex didn’t help with his run down of the rules. I mean I know this is his job, and he tells me these things so I can be safe, but I don’t like it. Right away we have to run off to catch a speeder. It was not that fun really. We didn’t get to speed, and I was okay with that. But the looking for a bad guy was not fun. The beeps of the Radar made my blood pressure rise. It was stressful. Then we did find someone going too fast, turning around in the middle of the interstate is not fun.
After that it was a 25 minute drive to go talk with drunks. I typically hate the road we had to take, and going 100 mph down the road didn’t help much. I was good until T-rex showed me how fast we were going. Once there talking to a drunk. All I could think was “I hope this guy doesn’t hurt T-rex, or have a gun, or . . “ you know all the dark dumb thoughts that we tend to push away. I understand why some cops come to think of everyone as a criminal. And that was only my first time seeing him work! Later in the night when he pulled over someone on the interstate my fears were worse. I worried about the other cars, the guy he pulled over and if he arrested someone. I had already made up my mind that if he arrested anyone I was going to get out of the truck and walk home.
I got to see firsthand how easily his job can go from calm to crazy, from safe to dangerous. I didn’t like it.
Yet, with as much of the stuff that I didn’t like I also got to see T-rex do what he loves. I got to see how great he is at his job. I got to see why some would like it. I got to see another side of my husband, one that I had not seen before. He was calm, professional, and well it was a little sexy. He was made for this work and I have nothing but respect for him and the profession. Mostly I had this feeling of “oh shoot, I thought his job was lazy, and I am too hard on him when he gets home, and I should clean the house more, make coming home something so great. I need to stop nagging about the kids when he comes home, and should avoid calling him but when he calls I should be happy he has a minute, and I know why he can never make it home on time.” I felt bad. I don’t like that feeling. There are a lot of things that are stressful about his job, and I felt like sometimes I add to his stress with my nagging, and yelling about the kids right away.
Don’t get me wrong, he needs to be nagged from time to time (any guy who says he doesn’t is full of it!) but I do hope that I can give him a moment to turn the cop off first. And that is something only he can do. He has done a great job at being cop at work and being dad at home. Seeing him become a different person on the job was scary, but it was also nice. So even though I am signing him up for banking classes I don’t think he will ever stop being a cop, and that is okay with me. I know he is great at his job, I know he is as safe as he can be, and I know he loves it.
Showing posts with label Police stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Police stuff. Show all posts
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Thursday, December 9, 2010
So, this is what it is like
Wow, never have a laughed so hard at something so stupid!
I was all excided to get to have dinner with T-rex. The kids were going to be at youth group, I was off work (in what seemed like the first day in forever, even if it was only two days), and T-rex was going to be on the road on a Wednesday night, so not too busy. I called him to let him know to be at subway around 5 and we could grab a bite to eat.
He was late, I was getting sad thinking he was going to “stand me up.” Even if it is work related it doesn’t feel any better to not have him around. I still get sad that we can’t make real plans, even if I know he is working. I deal with it and move on. He called and was able to make it out just a little late. As soon as he gets there I ask if he is going to get a call out as soon as we sit down. He gave me a nasty look, knocked on wood, and said he sure hoped not!
But then things took a comic turn for the worst.
Drunk old guy: “Hey are you sheriff?”
T-rex: “Yes I am.”
Drunk old guy : “well, I am too drunk to ride my bike back home, P.D. Officer will give me a ride sometimes.”
T-rex: “Yeah, do you have any I.D. on you?”
Drunk old Guy: “Yeah, I aren’t no terrorist. I own the house even. I just am too drunk to ride home, I am old my body isn’t so good.”
T-rex: “what’s the address and your date of birth?”
Drunk old guy: “March 5th 1743 I mean 1942 no 1949”
ME: “hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” (sad look at T-rex)
T-rex: “Go sit down right there I am going run this and we will get ya home.”
Drunk Old Guy: “Yeah my body aren’t too good”
Me: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA” (laughing at T-rex) “Can I get some money? I will just bring your food home.”
T-rex: (hands me some money, gives me a dirty look and then gets on the radio) “Dispatch this is 123, . . . . . .” (Cop talk follows. I don’t)
T-rex got the drunken guys bike put in his truck and was off. I was still laughing my butt off. I cannot do this drunken guy justice. He was far too funny! Rubber bands on his pants, dirty cloths, a book bag full of God knows what, and a gruff unshaven face complete the drunken look. I guess T-rex didn’t knock on wood soon enough. Or it was just a sign I should not get all happy about a date!
I still think T-rex should have written him a ticket for public intoxication. But, as T-rex said “At least the guy didn’t end up a stain on the road that I would have to deal with later, I would rather do this.” Well I would rather people don’t get so drunk that they can’t ride a bike home! I mean really Old Drunk guy you were able to make it out to get something to eat.
I was all excided to get to have dinner with T-rex. The kids were going to be at youth group, I was off work (in what seemed like the first day in forever, even if it was only two days), and T-rex was going to be on the road on a Wednesday night, so not too busy. I called him to let him know to be at subway around 5 and we could grab a bite to eat.
He was late, I was getting sad thinking he was going to “stand me up.” Even if it is work related it doesn’t feel any better to not have him around. I still get sad that we can’t make real plans, even if I know he is working. I deal with it and move on. He called and was able to make it out just a little late. As soon as he gets there I ask if he is going to get a call out as soon as we sit down. He gave me a nasty look, knocked on wood, and said he sure hoped not!
But then things took a comic turn for the worst.
Drunk old guy: “Hey are you sheriff?”
T-rex: “Yes I am.”
Drunk old guy : “well, I am too drunk to ride my bike back home, P.D. Officer will give me a ride sometimes.”
T-rex: “Yeah, do you have any I.D. on you?”
Drunk old Guy: “Yeah, I aren’t no terrorist. I own the house even. I just am too drunk to ride home, I am old my body isn’t so good.”
T-rex: “what’s the address and your date of birth?”
Drunk old guy: “March 5th 1743 I mean 1942 no 1949”
ME: “hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” (sad look at T-rex)
T-rex: “Go sit down right there I am going run this and we will get ya home.”
Drunk Old Guy: “Yeah my body aren’t too good”
Me: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA” (laughing at T-rex) “Can I get some money? I will just bring your food home.”
T-rex: (hands me some money, gives me a dirty look and then gets on the radio) “Dispatch this is 123, . . . . . .” (Cop talk follows. I don’t)
T-rex got the drunken guys bike put in his truck and was off. I was still laughing my butt off. I cannot do this drunken guy justice. He was far too funny! Rubber bands on his pants, dirty cloths, a book bag full of God knows what, and a gruff unshaven face complete the drunken look. I guess T-rex didn’t knock on wood soon enough. Or it was just a sign I should not get all happy about a date!
I still think T-rex should have written him a ticket for public intoxication. But, as T-rex said “At least the guy didn’t end up a stain on the road that I would have to deal with later, I would rather do this.” Well I would rather people don’t get so drunk that they can’t ride a bike home! I mean really Old Drunk guy you were able to make it out to get something to eat.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Yet another new first. . . .
I wanted to write something funny, something entertaining, maybe even something educational. I have even put pen to paper, or fingers to keys, in an attempt to write out what has been going on in a way that would, you know, not suck. The 13 pages of words I have saved in a folder called “BAD DON’T POST!” Do not do my thoughts justice.
This past week T-rex saw his first dead body. There it is said it is out there! But as it is his first dead body it is my first time being the support. And in many ways I feel like I get the short end of the stick here. He is now “one of the guys” well more “one of the guys”. In many ways it is just one more thing that they guys deal with that makes them more of a secret club. It is one more thing that they hold in common, that they can all relate too. It does nothing but furthers my alienation from society. (As if being married to a cop was not bad enough!)
He has a team of people telling him what might happen to him, how to deal with it, and what things to look out for. I have my little self-help books and sociology background. Mostly I am alone. Even other police wives have little advice other than to follow his lead, don’t push him to talk about it, listen when he wants to talk. I am new to this too. And I am sure that the changes this will bring in my life are nothing compared to what T-rex is going to have to deal with, there still are changes in my life because of this. I am now here to deal with whatever fall out there maybe.
Truth be told, I think that T-rex is going to deal with things very well, all things considered. This was not just a normal looking body, but as I have gathered one that was not in a state for an open casket or anything. I am sure that has to take some toll on him. I am grateful I have not had to see this. But then again T-rex is a fan of the gory movies, and I think in part he has desensitized himself to gore and death. And although he says the smell might get to him I think his gas has prepared him for that too! But there is no real training a wife can take to prepare herself for the changes a husband goes through when being a cop. Everything has changed, and keeps changing. I worry sometimes that he will become cynical like so many do, or that he will see the world as full of cops and criminals. I have hope that he will not, I know that he is a strong caring man, and that he understands that there is good in the world, but it is getting harder and harder to see.
The day after dealing with the dead body T-rex had to work a petty property damage case. He was conflicted, or at least sounded that way, and as any wife would tell you what a man says and feels are not always what a woman hears and thinks. But he made a note of saying that it was dumb, this guy could replace the property for under $20.00 and yet was all upset about it. T-rex could not find the empathy when all he could think about was how quick life could end. On the good side he did say he found greater joy in the small things like Rae coming down to sleep with him (even if she was to get him up) the hugs of a 5 year old brought a great big smile to his face. I guess that is good for we all often forget how quick life can change.
For me I just sit back and hope to not see any signs of stress from T-rex. I hope that he does not get angry, or gain what I call the “Jerk disorder.” There are a million books out there that will tell me how this might affect him, but none can really say how this might affect me. I know now and for the rest of my life that my husband has had to see something that I would not be able to handle. And not only has he had to see it but he has had to come home to his family and children and not be able to talk much about it, has had to deal with it on his own, and has to get up and keep going each day. I can do nothing but worry how this will affect him later in life. I cannot help the new worry.
So it’s not funny, entertaining, or even really educational. But it is what I am dealing with right now. It is what is going on with the cop’s wife. In many ways it is why this blog is here. I don’t want other wives to go around thinking it’s odd that they are upset their husband had to deal with something nasty. I am affected by some of the things that go on at his work. He does not try to bring it home, but if it is going to have an effect on him it will have an effect on me.
This past week T-rex saw his first dead body. There it is said it is out there! But as it is his first dead body it is my first time being the support. And in many ways I feel like I get the short end of the stick here. He is now “one of the guys” well more “one of the guys”. In many ways it is just one more thing that they guys deal with that makes them more of a secret club. It is one more thing that they hold in common, that they can all relate too. It does nothing but furthers my alienation from society. (As if being married to a cop was not bad enough!)
He has a team of people telling him what might happen to him, how to deal with it, and what things to look out for. I have my little self-help books and sociology background. Mostly I am alone. Even other police wives have little advice other than to follow his lead, don’t push him to talk about it, listen when he wants to talk. I am new to this too. And I am sure that the changes this will bring in my life are nothing compared to what T-rex is going to have to deal with, there still are changes in my life because of this. I am now here to deal with whatever fall out there maybe.
Truth be told, I think that T-rex is going to deal with things very well, all things considered. This was not just a normal looking body, but as I have gathered one that was not in a state for an open casket or anything. I am sure that has to take some toll on him. I am grateful I have not had to see this. But then again T-rex is a fan of the gory movies, and I think in part he has desensitized himself to gore and death. And although he says the smell might get to him I think his gas has prepared him for that too! But there is no real training a wife can take to prepare herself for the changes a husband goes through when being a cop. Everything has changed, and keeps changing. I worry sometimes that he will become cynical like so many do, or that he will see the world as full of cops and criminals. I have hope that he will not, I know that he is a strong caring man, and that he understands that there is good in the world, but it is getting harder and harder to see.
The day after dealing with the dead body T-rex had to work a petty property damage case. He was conflicted, or at least sounded that way, and as any wife would tell you what a man says and feels are not always what a woman hears and thinks. But he made a note of saying that it was dumb, this guy could replace the property for under $20.00 and yet was all upset about it. T-rex could not find the empathy when all he could think about was how quick life could end. On the good side he did say he found greater joy in the small things like Rae coming down to sleep with him (even if she was to get him up) the hugs of a 5 year old brought a great big smile to his face. I guess that is good for we all often forget how quick life can change.
For me I just sit back and hope to not see any signs of stress from T-rex. I hope that he does not get angry, or gain what I call the “Jerk disorder.” There are a million books out there that will tell me how this might affect him, but none can really say how this might affect me. I know now and for the rest of my life that my husband has had to see something that I would not be able to handle. And not only has he had to see it but he has had to come home to his family and children and not be able to talk much about it, has had to deal with it on his own, and has to get up and keep going each day. I can do nothing but worry how this will affect him later in life. I cannot help the new worry.
So it’s not funny, entertaining, or even really educational. But it is what I am dealing with right now. It is what is going on with the cop’s wife. In many ways it is why this blog is here. I don’t want other wives to go around thinking it’s odd that they are upset their husband had to deal with something nasty. I am affected by some of the things that go on at his work. He does not try to bring it home, but if it is going to have an effect on him it will have an effect on me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Velcro. . and more Velcro
The longest HOW to ever.
I am going to have to have T-rex write this one. I don’t know all the little details.
I know that it starts with a lot of Velcro. For all I know there is not much else to it.
Image via WikipediaHow to get dressed like a cop:
1. Velcro
2. Velcro
3. Velcro
4. Velcro
5. Velcro
6. Velcro
7. Velcro
8. Velcro
9. Shirt
10. Pants
11. Velcro
12. Velcro
13. Velcro
14. Velcro
15. Velcro
16. Velcro
17. Velcro
18. Velcro
19. Belt keepers
20. Boots, with Velcro
21. Hat with Velcro
22. More stuff for a belt, some of it Velcro.
23. Badge, where you still manage to poke yourself, even though there is so much Velcro to keep you “safe”
How do I know about all this Velcro? Well it is what wakes me up at 5 am, the sound of Velcro going veeer sheeeeer. A million times over and over again.
I know he looks cute in his uniform, but it is one of those things where if you know how it is done it losses all its appeal. If the getting dress is not enough to turn someone off then getting out of a uniform, which is just as bad and twice as smelly will surly kill any mood left.
I am going to have to have T-rex write this one. I don’t know all the little details.
I know that it starts with a lot of Velcro. For all I know there is not much else to it.
Image via Wikipedia2. Velcro
3. Velcro
4. Velcro
5. Velcro
6. Velcro
7. Velcro
8. Velcro
9. Shirt
10. Pants
11. Velcro
12. Velcro
13. Velcro
14. Velcro
15. Velcro
16. Velcro
17. Velcro
18. Velcro
19. Belt keepers
20. Boots, with Velcro
21. Hat with Velcro
22. More stuff for a belt, some of it Velcro.
23. Badge, where you still manage to poke yourself, even though there is so much Velcro to keep you “safe”
How do I know about all this Velcro? Well it is what wakes me up at 5 am, the sound of Velcro going veeer sheeeeer. A million times over and over again.
I know he looks cute in his uniform, but it is one of those things where if you know how it is done it losses all its appeal. If the getting dress is not enough to turn someone off then getting out of a uniform, which is just as bad and twice as smelly will surly kill any mood left.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Well, we are going in the right direction . .. I think. . .
T-rex had the last of his training thing stuff today. He was doing some kind of paintball exercise thing, where they act out “hot calls” or something, and he shoots or gets shot or ya know. Sounds just like a lot of playing around if you ask me! He used to love paintball so I don’t see how this counts as work, even though he says he works so hard at training. (Insert sarcastic laugh here)
We had talked about how he is not to call to tell me he “Got dead” any more. Well I don’t think our last conversation was really that much better, but at least he didn’t “get dead”
T-rex: “Hey babe, I didn’t get dead today!”
Me: “Oh that’s good! What happened?”
T-rex: “Well I shot 3 suspects, total of 4 kills.”
Me: “Oh that’s good. . . hang on you killed 4 people but only 3 suspects?”
T-rex: “Well yeah. . . . .. I didn’t shoot first . .I don’t think. . . I am pretty sure. . . “
Me: “So you killed a bystander or something?”
T-rex: “Well kind of. We got a call that there was a man with a gun at this place, and when we get there this guy comes running at us yelling, he was hysterical! So I think I shot because the other guys on my team shot. But I know I was the only one to shot twice. . . I put him out of his misery (which with paintballs really means T-rex caused him more pain!). But I think I just shot because the other guys were, kind of made me jumpy. But now I know.
Me: “um. I guess I should be happy you didn’t get shot, but that is what we would call a bad shot hun.”
T-rex: “Hey consider it public education! Now people know they should not come running and yelling at cops!”
Me: “Um, I better get lunch ready”
Well hey, this is training and this is what it’s for! I am happy he didn’t get shot so he is working on that! I also know that a lot of the other teams did the same thing, or got killed themselves. So I try to keep that in mind, I also try and remember that I would have died the first time out! They make some of the training where you have to mess up. One of the things he did MADE him get into a car crash; the computer would not let him avoid it. I wonder if he didn’t shot the guy if they would have made him the bad guy. So sometimes there is just no winning. A big part of me can’t help but feel happy he didn’t get shot. . Better the other guy!
We had talked about how he is not to call to tell me he “Got dead” any more. Well I don’t think our last conversation was really that much better, but at least he didn’t “get dead”
T-rex: “Hey babe, I didn’t get dead today!”
Me: “Oh that’s good! What happened?”
T-rex: “Well I shot 3 suspects, total of 4 kills.”
Me: “Oh that’s good. . . hang on you killed 4 people but only 3 suspects?”
T-rex: “Well yeah. . . . .. I didn’t shoot first . .I don’t think. . . I am pretty sure. . . “
Me: “So you killed a bystander or something?”
T-rex: “Well kind of. We got a call that there was a man with a gun at this place, and when we get there this guy comes running at us yelling, he was hysterical! So I think I shot because the other guys on my team shot. But I know I was the only one to shot twice. . . I put him out of his misery (which with paintballs really means T-rex caused him more pain!). But I think I just shot because the other guys were, kind of made me jumpy. But now I know.
Me: “um. I guess I should be happy you didn’t get shot, but that is what we would call a bad shot hun.”
T-rex: “Hey consider it public education! Now people know they should not come running and yelling at cops!”
Me: “Um, I better get lunch ready”
Well hey, this is training and this is what it’s for! I am happy he didn’t get shot so he is working on that! I also know that a lot of the other teams did the same thing, or got killed themselves. So I try to keep that in mind, I also try and remember that I would have died the first time out! They make some of the training where you have to mess up. One of the things he did MADE him get into a car crash; the computer would not let him avoid it. I wonder if he didn’t shot the guy if they would have made him the bad guy. So sometimes there is just no winning. A big part of me can’t help but feel happy he didn’t get shot. . Better the other guy!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Going to see T-rex
I drove 2 hours to see T-rex for only 2 short hours to drive back home again!
Tuesday I got all the kids in the car for the long drive to see T-rex at the academy. The drive down there was not bad, it was about noon when we started our long trip, but the kids always do well in the car. With just one stop I thought we were making great time. I knew T-rex didn’t get out until 5, but thought the kids would enjoy the museum.
T-rex called about 30 minutes into the trip. I guess he heard the GPS, because he said “I don’t know but I have a feeling you are on your way down here.” I didn’t know what to think! Some quick thinking left me to lie to T-rex. Lilly did not like that at all! I knew I should not have picked up the phone!
The museum was great! At least I thought so; the kids didn’t like it that much. It was getting near 5 so we started our way to the academy. Only to get lost! We got there around 5:15. I thought we had enough time to get T-rex and go out to eat. Only he didn’t pick up his phone! And no one knew where he was.
When I got him on the phone I lied again about a note in his truck to get him to come outside, there the kids were all sitting on his truck and yelled “Surprise!” they loved it. Turns out he had already eaten; they let the guys eat early today because at 6 they were getting tased. I was very sad at this. He had not even showered yet, and because I didn’t let him know that we were going to be there he didn’t get permission for us to go to his room.
He set us up in the commons room, full of cops, so he could shower and then we would get together with his parents for diner. This was fine with me I could use a minute to sit down, and the kids could use a minute out of the car. And all of this would have been great. But Dino! Dino is the only kid I know who could run into a room full of cops, act like a monkey, with sounds and everything, and not care at all. She loved it! She asked everyone if they were a cop. They all smiled and said yes. Lilly sat there and giggled at everyone. Rae acted more like I would have, she asked me to hold her and just sat there.
It is so strange how different they all act. I also think it’s a little strange that they are so comfortable with people who have guns and can send you to jail! I think they all just remind me of my Dad so much I am afraid to get grounded. Something about a cop just yells “Go to your room!” Yep even T-rex at times, like when I am trying to surprise him, I feel so guilty about it.
We had a great trip, the diner was good. The drive home was not bad, only one missed turn but I got back around just fine. I feel bad for T-rex having to make that drive every week. But it was well worth it.
Tuesday I got all the kids in the car for the long drive to see T-rex at the academy. The drive down there was not bad, it was about noon when we started our long trip, but the kids always do well in the car. With just one stop I thought we were making great time. I knew T-rex didn’t get out until 5, but thought the kids would enjoy the museum.
T-rex called about 30 minutes into the trip. I guess he heard the GPS, because he said “I don’t know but I have a feeling you are on your way down here.” I didn’t know what to think! Some quick thinking left me to lie to T-rex. Lilly did not like that at all! I knew I should not have picked up the phone!
The museum was great! At least I thought so; the kids didn’t like it that much. It was getting near 5 so we started our way to the academy. Only to get lost! We got there around 5:15. I thought we had enough time to get T-rex and go out to eat. Only he didn’t pick up his phone! And no one knew where he was.
When I got him on the phone I lied again about a note in his truck to get him to come outside, there the kids were all sitting on his truck and yelled “Surprise!” they loved it. Turns out he had already eaten; they let the guys eat early today because at 6 they were getting tased. I was very sad at this. He had not even showered yet, and because I didn’t let him know that we were going to be there he didn’t get permission for us to go to his room.
He set us up in the commons room, full of cops, so he could shower and then we would get together with his parents for diner. This was fine with me I could use a minute to sit down, and the kids could use a minute out of the car. And all of this would have been great. But Dino! Dino is the only kid I know who could run into a room full of cops, act like a monkey, with sounds and everything, and not care at all. She loved it! She asked everyone if they were a cop. They all smiled and said yes. Lilly sat there and giggled at everyone. Rae acted more like I would have, she asked me to hold her and just sat there.
It is so strange how different they all act. I also think it’s a little strange that they are so comfortable with people who have guns and can send you to jail! I think they all just remind me of my Dad so much I am afraid to get grounded. Something about a cop just yells “Go to your room!” Yep even T-rex at times, like when I am trying to surprise him, I feel so guilty about it.
We had a great trip, the diner was good. The drive home was not bad, only one missed turn but I got back around just fine. I feel bad for T-rex having to make that drive every week. But it was well worth it.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
T-rex is a cop right? Can he. . .
Okay, so I get it people are going to talk to people who they know are in the profession they need help with. I have a plumber friend, and I call him for help with plumbing. He can tell me how to take a pipe off over the phone, or when things are really bad he can install a new flusher thing. I also have an electrician in the family, we talk about what I would someday have him do to the house, and he has put new light switches in for me and stuff like that.
All this they can do when they are not working. I pay for all the parts, and their time is free, or a beer and pizza. Mostly I just call and get some advice on how to fix it myself. I take what they say and do it. When told I need to call a plumber to come over, I do that. I don’t complain. If the job takes too much time, or needs to be done when “on the job” I get that.
What I don’t get is people calling T-rex for some of the stupid stuff he has been called about. Or even worse people calling me! Like I know how cop stuff works.
I have to remind people that T-rex cannot legally “be a cop” off hours.(which is really hard because he is also “on call” 24/7) Now true there are some things he can do off hours just because he is a cop, like carry his gun all over the place, stop violent crimes, and what not. But he cannot give your neighbor a parking ticket because they are too far from the curb. He cannot come write your theft report, and he cannot get you out of a ticket.
Calling me to have T-rex get you out a ticket will likely result in me forgetting who you are. You don’t pay out of pocket every time you call the cops, so if there are issues just call the cops who are working! If they don’t get to you right away then they are busy and your problem is not a big deal. Also don’t call me asking for legal advice, I am not a lawyer. As far as I care the cops did the right thing, and you’re dumb for breaking the law.
To make it easy I am going to make a nice list I can pass out to people. Things you can call and ask T-rex or myself about, and things you should call the cops about!
Things you can call about:
1. What the new Conceal Carry law say.
2. How old you child needs to be for a booster seat.
3. Where to go to, pay a ticket, register a car, or send money to an inmate (now truth be told if you are helping an inmate there is a chance, depending on what the inmate is in for, that we will not be talking much after this call)
4. Officer X was working my case, do you know if he is working today. (notice no phone numbers)
5. Can I do X legally? Be prepaid for the answer to be “I don’t know”
When you should not call:
1. You son’s DUI
2. To complain about the police
3. To get out of a ticket
4. To have T-rex do “cop stuff” off duty, legally he can’t do most of it
5. To report a crime
6. To have T-rex send cops to your place
7. To ask for another officers number
8. When you are doing something illegal.
IF you call T-rex at home for most of the reasons listed above you will be told to ... CALL THE COPS! What an idea.
It’s not like T-rex, or I am able to magically make your issues go away. He will talk to you about the job, what he can anyway. He will tell you what to do when you have a ticket, and none of that will include ways to get out of it. But, he will tell you how to pay it quickly so you don’t get more fines. He is such a good man to help like that.
All this they can do when they are not working. I pay for all the parts, and their time is free, or a beer and pizza. Mostly I just call and get some advice on how to fix it myself. I take what they say and do it. When told I need to call a plumber to come over, I do that. I don’t complain. If the job takes too much time, or needs to be done when “on the job” I get that.
What I don’t get is people calling T-rex for some of the stupid stuff he has been called about. Or even worse people calling me! Like I know how cop stuff works.
I have to remind people that T-rex cannot legally “be a cop” off hours.(which is really hard because he is also “on call” 24/7) Now true there are some things he can do off hours just because he is a cop, like carry his gun all over the place, stop violent crimes, and what not. But he cannot give your neighbor a parking ticket because they are too far from the curb. He cannot come write your theft report, and he cannot get you out of a ticket.
Calling me to have T-rex get you out a ticket will likely result in me forgetting who you are. You don’t pay out of pocket every time you call the cops, so if there are issues just call the cops who are working! If they don’t get to you right away then they are busy and your problem is not a big deal. Also don’t call me asking for legal advice, I am not a lawyer. As far as I care the cops did the right thing, and you’re dumb for breaking the law.
To make it easy I am going to make a nice list I can pass out to people. Things you can call and ask T-rex or myself about, and things you should call the cops about!
Things you can call about:
1. What the new Conceal Carry law say.
2. How old you child needs to be for a booster seat.
3. Where to go to, pay a ticket, register a car, or send money to an inmate (now truth be told if you are helping an inmate there is a chance, depending on what the inmate is in for, that we will not be talking much after this call)
4. Officer X was working my case, do you know if he is working today. (notice no phone numbers)
5. Can I do X legally? Be prepaid for the answer to be “I don’t know”
When you should not call:
1. You son’s DUI
2. To complain about the police
3. To get out of a ticket
4. To have T-rex do “cop stuff” off duty, legally he can’t do most of it
5. To report a crime
6. To have T-rex send cops to your place
7. To ask for another officers number
8. When you are doing something illegal.
IF you call T-rex at home for most of the reasons listed above you will be told to ... CALL THE COPS! What an idea.
It’s not like T-rex, or I am able to magically make your issues go away. He will talk to you about the job, what he can anyway. He will tell you what to do when you have a ticket, and none of that will include ways to get out of it. But, he will tell you how to pay it quickly so you don’t get more fines. He is such a good man to help like that.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The real road hazards
I do enjoy the fact that T-rex gets weekends home right now. I almost feel like a “normal” family. We get to take the girls swimming, or out to the zoo.
Last weekend we went out to the zoo. It’s about a 35 minute drive to get there, all on old highway. I don’t mind the drive that much, but the truth is I hate driving by open fields. When I was 15 I was in a very bad car accident on a dirt road. We ended up flipping the car into some farmer’s field. I guess driving on dirt roads and open fields still brings back some stress for me.
T-rex knows this fact. I have spent many hours yelling at him to slow down! I think he has some issue with listening to his wife in the car. I think I may have cured that. I am learning cop lingo, and it is paying off!
Like normal he took a curve going too fast so I started to yell at him. And like normal he took the next curve faster and this time moved over onto the shoulder. As the car started to go over the warning bumps I started to yell louder and hit him with my shoe. (We will get to how ‘smart’ that was in a moment).
T-rex: “I wasn’t going any faster than the posted speed limit!”
Me: “you went on the shoulder!”
T-rex : “Yeah and it was fun!”
Me: “You were going too fast for conditions! You could get a ticket.”
T-rex : “What conditions?! The road is fine, I am driving fine, you worry to much”
Me: “You were going too fast for ME!”
T-rex: “haha. . . I keep saying we need to get that in the book”
Me: “What in the book?”
T-rex: “Road hazards include snow, ice, rain, and WIVES!”
Me: “WHAT?!”
T-rex: “Yep a wife is the worst road hazard there is. Hitting me with a shoe when I am driving and stuff.”
Me: “Well, you were going to the shoulder”
T-rex: “because you were freaking out! And it was fun”
Me: “Well it’s not safe, and if I were driving. . . .”
T-rex: “That’s an even worse road hazard! Driving wife. ..”
Me: “Still if a wife if a road condition that makes driving a hazard you needed to slow down!”
T-rex: “But it was fun! And I am a good driver, you worry too much”
This went on like this for a few minutes. Then I realized he said I was a bad driver. I could not really argue with him over that. After all, I don’t drive a like a cop. But it is fine with me if they add “wife” to the list of road hazards. Anything to get T-rex to stop driving like a cop when we are in the minivan!
Last weekend we went out to the zoo. It’s about a 35 minute drive to get there, all on old highway. I don’t mind the drive that much, but the truth is I hate driving by open fields. When I was 15 I was in a very bad car accident on a dirt road. We ended up flipping the car into some farmer’s field. I guess driving on dirt roads and open fields still brings back some stress for me.
T-rex knows this fact. I have spent many hours yelling at him to slow down! I think he has some issue with listening to his wife in the car. I think I may have cured that. I am learning cop lingo, and it is paying off!
Like normal he took a curve going too fast so I started to yell at him. And like normal he took the next curve faster and this time moved over onto the shoulder. As the car started to go over the warning bumps I started to yell louder and hit him with my shoe. (We will get to how ‘smart’ that was in a moment).
T-rex: “I wasn’t going any faster than the posted speed limit!”
Me: “you went on the shoulder!”
T-rex : “Yeah and it was fun!”
Me: “You were going too fast for conditions! You could get a ticket.”
T-rex : “What conditions?! The road is fine, I am driving fine, you worry to much”
Me: “You were going too fast for ME!”
T-rex: “haha. . . I keep saying we need to get that in the book”
Me: “What in the book?”
T-rex: “Road hazards include snow, ice, rain, and WIVES!”
Me: “WHAT?!”
T-rex: “Yep a wife is the worst road hazard there is. Hitting me with a shoe when I am driving and stuff.”
Me: “Well, you were going to the shoulder”
T-rex: “because you were freaking out! And it was fun”
Me: “Well it’s not safe, and if I were driving. . . .”
T-rex: “That’s an even worse road hazard! Driving wife. ..”
Me: “Still if a wife if a road condition that makes driving a hazard you needed to slow down!”
T-rex: “But it was fun! And I am a good driver, you worry too much”
This went on like this for a few minutes. Then I realized he said I was a bad driver. I could not really argue with him over that. After all, I don’t drive a like a cop. But it is fine with me if they add “wife” to the list of road hazards. Anything to get T-rex to stop driving like a cop when we are in the minivan!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
What do you stand for?
I told my husband today that it would be better he die. . . .
Yeah when I write it out like this I sound evil don’t I?
It wasn’t like that. I am sure. . . .
We were talking about a class he had. The class was over what to do as a cop if you become a hostage. The teacher I guess is a really cool guy and one who I would like to meet sometime. He seems to think the same way I do.
The “policy” is to lay low, get out if you can, and all that good stuff. It is pretty much what they tell bankers anymore. DON’T FIGHT BACK.
Well the teacher of the class told the students to “read what the hand out says, but listen to me, I don’t agree with the hand out. . . .” He then told them all the things I would tell anyone, FIGHT BACK!
I guess this has something to do with the kind of cereal my parents got me as a child. But I truly think anything worth having is worth fighting for, and that means your life too. I think people who take life lying down are weak. I think as long as I can fight my way out without hurting anyone I will.
As a kid this “fighting” was often times verbal for me. I did get into a few fist fights in first grade and what not. I remember me and another kid would fight with the older kids when they were picking on the younger kids. He and I thought we were heroes or something.
I also would fight with authority that I thought was wrong. Sometimes I was wrong. Other times, like in High School Business class I was very right. The point is that no matter what it was I would take a stand for what I believed in and I would do what I could to get what I thought was right to be done.
Now as an adult I have learned that not everything is worth fighting for. My chocolate cookies are worth the fight! So hands of Rae! But a little disagreement does not bring war to my world anymore. I am sure my parents are pleased with this maturity.
But life, life is always worth fighting for. Justice, what is right, what is truly right, is always worth the fight. So when I was talking to T-rex I told him I have always felt it was better to die for something worth fighting for than to live a life letting evil prevail. I think if you don’t at least attempt to defeat the ‘evil’ (whatever it may be) then you’re just as bad as the evil.
T-rex might look at things differently, he said he would rather his kids know that he went out fighting then lived weak. I agree. But I sure hope he is able to win whatever fight he comes to.
“Nothing is ever won without a fight.
No fight is ever without a loss."
~Millia Dark
Yeah when I write it out like this I sound evil don’t I?
It wasn’t like that. I am sure. . . .
We were talking about a class he had. The class was over what to do as a cop if you become a hostage. The teacher I guess is a really cool guy and one who I would like to meet sometime. He seems to think the same way I do.
The “policy” is to lay low, get out if you can, and all that good stuff. It is pretty much what they tell bankers anymore. DON’T FIGHT BACK.
Well the teacher of the class told the students to “read what the hand out says, but listen to me, I don’t agree with the hand out. . . .” He then told them all the things I would tell anyone, FIGHT BACK!
I guess this has something to do with the kind of cereal my parents got me as a child. But I truly think anything worth having is worth fighting for, and that means your life too. I think people who take life lying down are weak. I think as long as I can fight my way out without hurting anyone I will.
As a kid this “fighting” was often times verbal for me. I did get into a few fist fights in first grade and what not. I remember me and another kid would fight with the older kids when they were picking on the younger kids. He and I thought we were heroes or something.
I also would fight with authority that I thought was wrong. Sometimes I was wrong. Other times, like in High School Business class I was very right. The point is that no matter what it was I would take a stand for what I believed in and I would do what I could to get what I thought was right to be done.
Now as an adult I have learned that not everything is worth fighting for. My chocolate cookies are worth the fight! So hands of Rae! But a little disagreement does not bring war to my world anymore. I am sure my parents are pleased with this maturity.
But life, life is always worth fighting for. Justice, what is right, what is truly right, is always worth the fight. So when I was talking to T-rex I told him I have always felt it was better to die for something worth fighting for than to live a life letting evil prevail. I think if you don’t at least attempt to defeat the ‘evil’ (whatever it may be) then you’re just as bad as the evil.
T-rex might look at things differently, he said he would rather his kids know that he went out fighting then lived weak. I agree. But I sure hope he is able to win whatever fight he comes to.
“Nothing is ever won without a fight.
No fight is ever without a loss."
~Millia Dark
Friday, August 6, 2010
I learned something new today
T-rex really loves to stress people out. I mean that is the only clear explanation for doing what he did.
Like things are not hard enough right now, he has to add to the stress!
He calls me today to share something new he has learned at the academy.
T-rex: “Hey babe, I learned something new today.”
Me: “Cool, what did you learn?”
T-rex: “Did you know that most cops who are shot are shot by their own gun?”
Me: Click
My mom says I have a habit of hanging up on people when I am mad at them. Well now that I have a clear head I can say she might be right about that. I guess I will work on that.
What was he thinking? Really! He needed to tell me that. I have had a very good system going here! I ignore any real danger he might be in, and tell the psychologist in me to shut up. She listens well enough and I go on blind to any danger that our cops are in. I am sure this is not a very healthy way of coping with things, but I think it’s working well enough for now.
T-rex being as he is says I am sheep. (Check out the books by LT. Col. Dave Grossman to find out what that means) He thinks that I need to be less like a sheep and more like a sheep dog. I try to tell him dogs smell funny. He does not seem to care. To T-rex it is better to know all the evils of the world and face them. To me if I did that every day I would die of worry. I know that there are risks with his job. I get that every day is a risk for him and all our officers. But I cannot stop living my life out of the fear he might. So to him I say “baa baa.”
The real pain is how he always has to share this mortality news at the worst time. Like after a night of bad dreams, or reading about an officer who gave up his life trying to save another. I guess his timing will always be bad. But I love him so what am I to do? I think I will just call him back and tell him he better not got shot with his own gun, or I will be really mad.
Like things are not hard enough right now, he has to add to the stress!
He calls me today to share something new he has learned at the academy.
T-rex: “Hey babe, I learned something new today.”
Me: “Cool, what did you learn?”
T-rex: “Did you know that most cops who are shot are shot by their own gun?”
Me: Click
My mom says I have a habit of hanging up on people when I am mad at them. Well now that I have a clear head I can say she might be right about that. I guess I will work on that.
What was he thinking? Really! He needed to tell me that. I have had a very good system going here! I ignore any real danger he might be in, and tell the psychologist in me to shut up. She listens well enough and I go on blind to any danger that our cops are in. I am sure this is not a very healthy way of coping with things, but I think it’s working well enough for now.
T-rex being as he is says I am sheep. (Check out the books by LT. Col. Dave Grossman to find out what that means) He thinks that I need to be less like a sheep and more like a sheep dog. I try to tell him dogs smell funny. He does not seem to care. To T-rex it is better to know all the evils of the world and face them. To me if I did that every day I would die of worry. I know that there are risks with his job. I get that every day is a risk for him and all our officers. But I cannot stop living my life out of the fear he might. So to him I say “baa baa.”
The real pain is how he always has to share this mortality news at the worst time. Like after a night of bad dreams, or reading about an officer who gave up his life trying to save another. I guess his timing will always be bad. But I love him so what am I to do? I think I will just call him back and tell him he better not got shot with his own gun, or I will be really mad.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
HOW TO: Iron a uniform
1. Enjoy taking uniform off husband. Actually, just think you will enjoy taking uniform off husband. The stink and sweat make the uniform unpleasant to touch, when it is off there is an even nastier vest and undershirt on.
2. Tell husband to put uniform in the hamper.
3. Husband gets uniform in hamper but puts vest and undershirt on bed.
4. Yell at husband for putting vest and undershirt on bed! (see how to wash a Kevlar vest and stinky undershirt)
5. Notice husband did not take off all the “brass” so spend about 10 minutes messing with that. Poke your little finger, and yell at husband for forgetting to take the “metal poky things” off.
6. Wash uniform according to directions; add a little more detergent because it was so close to stink vest and undershirt.
7. Dry uniform according to directions.
8. Spend 20 minutes looking for iron that you never use anymore.
9. Question the intelligence at the office. “Everything is 'wash and wear' any more, these guys are in the stone age!”
10. Spend 15 minutes getting all the wrinkles out.
11. Admire your work, and go brag to husband about it.
12. When husband remarks that it needs the little lines ironed down the legs throw uniform at his face.
13. Husband, now a cop, and master of verbal judo
, makes you feel guilty and determined to get it right. The usage of “Mark’s wife. . . . .” is enough to make you want to stab him, but you are better than Mark’s wife so off you go to try again!
14. Get back to laundry room where the iron was still left on. I guess it was a cosmic sign or something.
15. Burn finger on hot iron.
16. Give up and take uniform to the cleaners so they can “press” it. Spend a few minutes daydreaming about what “pressing” a uniform means. I, personally, am sure they have a thing the size of a bed that smashes the uniform into shape. I don’t want one, so I should take the uniform to a place where they already have one.
17. Sneak out back door so husband does not see you are not like “Mark’s wife”
18. When out stop and get a nice cup of coffee, you know the kind that cost over a day’s salary
19. Show Husband clean and pressed uniform. Take all the credit, and ask if he thinks you are better than “Mark’s wife" now! When he says "yes babe, Mark’s wife takes his down to the cleaner” and starts to laugh avoid dumping coffee on him, but it is okay to throw uniform at his face again.
20. Write a random letter to the office ever day saying how the cops look stupid in their dressy uniforms, even though secretly you think nothing is hotter than a cop in uniform. Recommend all the cops go to “wash and wear” uniforms, also called soft uniforms. A polo shirt would be just fine.
21. Mail said letters from the store where you are going to stock up on massive amounts of starch. Who cares if your husband can’t move? The lines down the legs are never coming out!
2. Tell husband to put uniform in the hamper.
3. Husband gets uniform in hamper but puts vest and undershirt on bed.
4. Yell at husband for putting vest and undershirt on bed! (see how to wash a Kevlar vest and stinky undershirt)
5. Notice husband did not take off all the “brass” so spend about 10 minutes messing with that. Poke your little finger, and yell at husband for forgetting to take the “metal poky things” off.
6. Wash uniform according to directions; add a little more detergent because it was so close to stink vest and undershirt.
7. Dry uniform according to directions.
8. Spend 20 minutes looking for iron that you never use anymore.
9. Question the intelligence at the office. “Everything is 'wash and wear' any more, these guys are in the stone age!”
10. Spend 15 minutes getting all the wrinkles out.
11. Admire your work, and go brag to husband about it.
12. When husband remarks that it needs the little lines ironed down the legs throw uniform at his face.
13. Husband, now a cop, and master of verbal judo
, makes you feel guilty and determined to get it right. The usage of “Mark’s wife. . . . .” is enough to make you want to stab him, but you are better than Mark’s wife so off you go to try again!14. Get back to laundry room where the iron was still left on. I guess it was a cosmic sign or something.
15. Burn finger on hot iron.
16. Give up and take uniform to the cleaners so they can “press” it. Spend a few minutes daydreaming about what “pressing” a uniform means. I, personally, am sure they have a thing the size of a bed that smashes the uniform into shape. I don’t want one, so I should take the uniform to a place where they already have one.
17. Sneak out back door so husband does not see you are not like “Mark’s wife”
18. When out stop and get a nice cup of coffee, you know the kind that cost over a day’s salary
19. Show Husband clean and pressed uniform. Take all the credit, and ask if he thinks you are better than “Mark’s wife" now! When he says "yes babe, Mark’s wife takes his down to the cleaner” and starts to laugh avoid dumping coffee on him, but it is okay to throw uniform at his face again.
20. Write a random letter to the office ever day saying how the cops look stupid in their dressy uniforms, even though secretly you think nothing is hotter than a cop in uniform. Recommend all the cops go to “wash and wear” uniforms, also called soft uniforms. A polo shirt would be just fine.
21. Mail said letters from the store where you are going to stock up on massive amounts of starch. Who cares if your husband can’t move? The lines down the legs are never coming out!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Being interrogated
I will never ever commit a crime as long as I live. For no other reason than I don’t ever want to be interrogated. How stressful that must be for people.
T-rex is learning about interrogation right now. So like any good student he had to try it out, and like any good wife, I gave myself up for the name of education! He thought it would be simple for him to try out some of his skills, and see the “suspect’s” reactions.
So I was told to take something off the top of the table and go sit outside. He would then find out what I took and try to get me to say why I took it and where I put it. I took a voice recorder and put it under the couch. I thought I was being smart!
He came back out in like 2 seconds and started the interview part. I could not stop giggling.
T-rex: “Mrs. Rex, do you know why you were called down here?”
Me: All giggles. “Um, no”
Then he goes on with personal questions, age, height, weight, married or not and so on. I think I did a good job at messing him up, when he asked if I had kids I replied with “is this relevant to the case at hand” I wasn’t going to give him any information to use against me!
Note to cops doing this to their wives, when she says her weight is 120 you write down 120 and smile and don’t give her that look like “yeah right” If she says 120 then that’s what it is okay!
When he asked what my husband’s name was, I made up something dumb. A note to the wives, before giving your husband a nick name like “pretty pink prince’s pants” make sure he unarmed!
I could not help but giggle the whole time. T-rex said I did that because I was nervous. I guess I was a little. Then he started in on the real interrogation part of things, and the giggles kind of stopped. But my hands started to fidget. T-rex says that is what guilty people do to avoid facing what’s going on. I think that is what anyone does when being drilled a million questions, and accused of doing something bad.
I stopped looking at him when he told me he KNEW I took it. I knew he knew but, it made me more nervous. He started to move in and I tried to pull away. I was ready to crack just to get him to stop. I did, even after all my brave front with the funny nick name and attitude at the start I caved in and told him everything!
It was just a game! Nothing bad was going to happen to me. I knew he already knew what I took, there wasn’t that much stuff on the table, he knew it was me. The whole point was for me to do something and him ask questions. Why did I cave in so easy?
I think he is going to be a good interviewer/interrogator. I just hope he never asks how much my shoes cost. I have a feeling he is going to use his new skills to his advantage around Christmas time.
T-rex is learning about interrogation right now. So like any good student he had to try it out, and like any good wife, I gave myself up for the name of education! He thought it would be simple for him to try out some of his skills, and see the “suspect’s” reactions.
So I was told to take something off the top of the table and go sit outside. He would then find out what I took and try to get me to say why I took it and where I put it. I took a voice recorder and put it under the couch. I thought I was being smart!
He came back out in like 2 seconds and started the interview part. I could not stop giggling.
T-rex: “Mrs. Rex, do you know why you were called down here?”
Me: All giggles. “Um, no”
Then he goes on with personal questions, age, height, weight, married or not and so on. I think I did a good job at messing him up, when he asked if I had kids I replied with “is this relevant to the case at hand” I wasn’t going to give him any information to use against me!
Note to cops doing this to their wives, when she says her weight is 120 you write down 120 and smile and don’t give her that look like “yeah right” If she says 120 then that’s what it is okay!
When he asked what my husband’s name was, I made up something dumb. A note to the wives, before giving your husband a nick name like “pretty pink prince’s pants” make sure he unarmed!
I could not help but giggle the whole time. T-rex said I did that because I was nervous. I guess I was a little. Then he started in on the real interrogation part of things, and the giggles kind of stopped. But my hands started to fidget. T-rex says that is what guilty people do to avoid facing what’s going on. I think that is what anyone does when being drilled a million questions, and accused of doing something bad.
I stopped looking at him when he told me he KNEW I took it. I knew he knew but, it made me more nervous. He started to move in and I tried to pull away. I was ready to crack just to get him to stop. I did, even after all my brave front with the funny nick name and attitude at the start I caved in and told him everything!
It was just a game! Nothing bad was going to happen to me. I knew he already knew what I took, there wasn’t that much stuff on the table, he knew it was me. The whole point was for me to do something and him ask questions. Why did I cave in so easy?
I think he is going to be a good interviewer/interrogator. I just hope he never asks how much my shoes cost. I have a feeling he is going to use his new skills to his advantage around Christmas time.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Ammo in the. . .
Bed! That’s right, ammo in the bed. I am still lucky there is no ammo in the dryer. However, you cannot really say finding ammo in the bed is lucky. There I was ready to fall asleep when I rolled over to get poked in the butt. Part of me wanted to think something fun was going to come out of this, but T-rex is gone. Then I thought the kids left toys on the bed. No, it was not the kids. It was T-rex, which is just as bad as if it were one of the kids.
There on the bed was a .223 round. I am not sure what a .223 round really is, but it goes in a big gun with some letters and a number. If you know what it is please don’t bother explaining it to me, I will just play cartoons in my head. I have already lost 34.5 hours this year watching cartoons when T-rex tries to explain gun stuff to me. I am sure some of it is sticking, as I know this round is a .223.
I do know what a .22 is. I have an old riffle that my dad gave me. It’s the first and only gun I have ever really shot. The sights are bent, as they have been from the time I got it. T-rex says he wants to fix them. I don’t want him too, I am afraid if he does I will not know how to shoot my gun!
I am a fairly good shot with that gun too. I tilt it slightly to the right, aim with both eyes open, and fire. I can get a good head shot off where T-rex practices for qualifications. He is always trying to teach me how to shoot the “right” way. I guess he thinks he needs to show me how to do it right because near the end of the day my paper is covered in holes. The only ones I even count are the ones I tried to aim with. Two in the chest and one to the head, all the other ones are from me just smelling gun powder. I love that smell. And with .22 I can afford to just play around. With a single shot I don’t have time to aim. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.
I don’t want to learn about guns, or how to shoot. I like what I have going here with the old gun my dad gave me. And if I did leave the ammo from my gun on the bed it would not poke anyone in the butt.
There on the bed was a .223 round. I am not sure what a .223 round really is, but it goes in a big gun with some letters and a number. If you know what it is please don’t bother explaining it to me, I will just play cartoons in my head. I have already lost 34.5 hours this year watching cartoons when T-rex tries to explain gun stuff to me. I am sure some of it is sticking, as I know this round is a .223. I was getting ready to call him and yell at him for not putting ammo up, but thought better of it and I decided I would yell at him the next day. Well, it’s a good thing I waited. The next morning I went to get my earrings when five .22 rounds fell out of my jewelry box. They were mine. I felt almost bad for wanting to give T-rex an ear full. But my rounds never poked him in the butt!
I do know what a .22 is. I have an old riffle that my dad gave me. It’s the first and only gun I have ever really shot. The sights are bent, as they have been from the time I got it. T-rex says he wants to fix them. I don’t want him too, I am afraid if he does I will not know how to shoot my gun! I don’t want to learn about guns, or how to shoot. I like what I have going here with the old gun my dad gave me. And if I did leave the ammo from my gun on the bed it would not poke anyone in the butt.
Friday, July 30, 2010
It doesn’t work!
Well, first I tried normal camouflage, thinking maybe there was some magic power in the fabric or something. It did not work; the kids only asked why I was wearing Daddy’s work clothes. So I thought I would get something to match the couch, something the same color and fabric. I was up all night stitching a nice jacket, pants, and even a hat. I was eager to try it out! When the kids were playing outside I thought I would just slip it on and take a quick, peaceful nap on the couch.
THEY FOUND ME! It took a whole 5 minutes for all three of the kids to run inside. They found me in 2.4 seconds. “Mom! I want a drink!” I tried to act like I was not there, thinking if I don’t move they would go away. What is that trick with bears, act dead? Well it did not work. When I did not respond right away they started to poke me with random things left on the floor.
This stuff does not work! I have tried everything I can think of. How is this going to work for T-rex when he is out? If a 6 year old can figure it out I am sure a person who is, in theory, smarter than a 6 year old can figure it out.
This post is dedicated to Helen at I'm living proof that God has a Sense of Humor. . . . check it out for some funny stuff!
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Wednesday, July 28, 2010
How to wash a Kevlar vest, and get the stink out of an undershirt:
Please note that this is just a general outline. You may find you can skip a few steps, or you may need to add a few more. For instance you may want to make your husband do number 4, or you may find step number 1 is best repeated every other step. This is okay. The rules can be changed. If it is a must you will see a * beside the step. Some steps must be done before others. In that case you will see a little ^ next to the step to indicate that this step must be done before the ones after it.
1. Yell at husband for putting stinky shirt and vest on bed. Now the whole room stinks like underarms, and your new bedding is too big for your little washer, so you must take it downtown to get clean.
2. Pull everything off your bed and storm around bedroom spraying any kind of air freshener you like. I like Hawaiian air or something by Fabreze but you may find another more to your taste.
3. *^ spray shirt and vest with flower air freshener. Notice that your husband would now stink like a girl and this would get him a nice bashing at the office. Don’t care at the moment.
4. Take bedding downtown to get washed
5. Come home to find that the room stinks of flowers and underarms now.
6. Find the vest stinks of flowers and underarms
7. Yell at husband again for putting vest and shirt on clean bed.
8. **^ take vest apart. To do this you need to remove all the plates inside the vest, there are typically two big ones and one or two smaller ones. Big ones unzip out of the vest. The small one is covering the heart area. Notice the plates go back in the SAME way they came out, facing the same way and everything.
9. Don’t care how to put the thing back because the plates are getting stuck and you can’t really touch anything out of fear of the stink getting on you.
10. Put vest shell in washer on warm/cold setting, use lots of detergent, and maybe a little fabric softener. Some good detergent would be baking soda, and vinegar. Or whatever you like that smells good.
11. Hang vest shell to dry. If it still stinks a little spray it with normal Fabreze or something and give up!
12. *If undershirt is not white, make him wash it, alone with nothing else so the stink cannot get on anything else in the house. Or put it in the trash!
13. When vest is drying wash the undershirt alone in HOT/HOT water, using massive amounts of detergent, bleach, and fabric softener.
14. Dry shirt on HOT setting also. This is believed to help kill any leftover stink. This may or may not be true.
15. Yell once more. This time mostly at the vest for being so hard to put back together.
16. Put vest on to see which way it goes
17. Put the plates back into the vest.
18. Worry that you got them in wrong and now something is going to happen and the vest will not work like it should
19. Come to peace with that thought. Remember he left his vest ON THE BED!
20. Go get bedding from downtown and stop by the seamstress so she can stitch onto the bedding: “IF YOU PUT YOUR STINKY NASTY VEST ON HERE AGAIN YOU WILL HAVE YOUR ROOM MOVED TO THE GARAGE “also stop by to get a quote from the movers.
21. ** Take yourself to the spa to relax and unwind from the work out of washing a Kevlar Vest.
This post is dedicated to ANN T. Check out her blog for some deep thinking @ Ann T. Hathaway
1. Yell at husband for putting stinky shirt and vest on bed. Now the whole room stinks like underarms, and your new bedding is too big for your little washer, so you must take it downtown to get clean.
2. Pull everything off your bed and storm around bedroom spraying any kind of air freshener you like. I like Hawaiian air or something by Fabreze but you may find another more to your taste.
3. *^ spray shirt and vest with flower air freshener. Notice that your husband would now stink like a girl and this would get him a nice bashing at the office. Don’t care at the moment.
4. Take bedding downtown to get washed
5. Come home to find that the room stinks of flowers and underarms now.
6. Find the vest stinks of flowers and underarms
7. Yell at husband again for putting vest and shirt on clean bed.
8. **^ take vest apart. To do this you need to remove all the plates inside the vest, there are typically two big ones and one or two smaller ones. Big ones unzip out of the vest. The small one is covering the heart area. Notice the plates go back in the SAME way they came out, facing the same way and everything.
9. Don’t care how to put the thing back because the plates are getting stuck and you can’t really touch anything out of fear of the stink getting on you.
10. Put vest shell in washer on warm/cold setting, use lots of detergent, and maybe a little fabric softener. Some good detergent would be baking soda, and vinegar. Or whatever you like that smells good.
11. Hang vest shell to dry. If it still stinks a little spray it with normal Fabreze or something and give up!
12. *If undershirt is not white, make him wash it, alone with nothing else so the stink cannot get on anything else in the house. Or put it in the trash!
13. When vest is drying wash the undershirt alone in HOT/HOT water, using massive amounts of detergent, bleach, and fabric softener.
14. Dry shirt on HOT setting also. This is believed to help kill any leftover stink. This may or may not be true.
15. Yell once more. This time mostly at the vest for being so hard to put back together.
16. Put vest on to see which way it goes
17. Put the plates back into the vest.
18. Worry that you got them in wrong and now something is going to happen and the vest will not work like it should
19. Come to peace with that thought. Remember he left his vest ON THE BED!
20. Go get bedding from downtown and stop by the seamstress so she can stitch onto the bedding: “IF YOU PUT YOUR STINKY NASTY VEST ON HERE AGAIN YOU WILL HAVE YOUR ROOM MOVED TO THE GARAGE “also stop by to get a quote from the movers.
21. ** Take yourself to the spa to relax and unwind from the work out of washing a Kevlar Vest.
This post is dedicated to ANN T. Check out her blog for some deep thinking @ Ann T. Hathaway
Sunday, July 25, 2010
A knock, two officers, and one ticked off wife
T-rex is on Part time for the Police Department, as well as the full time for the Sheriff’s Department. Needless to say I don’t always know where he is. Home, PD, SO, store, I get it mixed up a lot.
Late at night there was a knock on the door. It was a forceful knock, like whoever was knocking had some very important business, at 9pm. So I quickly ran upstairs, almost in a panic just from the knocking. I opened the door to see two Police Officers standing in my door way.
My first thought was that something happened to T-rex. My heart dropped and I could not get anything out. I asked if T-rex was in trouble. That’s all I could say.
Nope said the officers, they just wanted to get his radio for the new guy.
My face turned red as I realized that T-rex was home! He was playing games, and not hurt.
Darn officers should have CALLED! It’s a phone, learn to use it!
But that did get me thinking. I didn’t know how they would notify me if something ever happened to T-rex when he was at work. I remember the one call that I got from him. It started out like this: “Don’t worry babe” So I worried! He was fine, but still that was not a good way to find out some bad news.
Turns out they do send officers to notify the family. If it’s at the Sheriff’s office they send Sheriff J and Mighty Mouse. I am not sure how I feel about that. I talked with MRS. K, her husband was T-rex’s boss when he was in the Jail. MR. K is funny, I like him. She told me that she has already made it clear to Sheriff J and Mighty Mouse that she would not open the door if they came and just knocked on it. I don’t blame her. I asked if she would come with the officers if something ever happened to T-rex and she said she would. I don’t know but just knowing that she would be there if I needed her really helped me get past the fear of the door knocking. I think we all should have a plan in place. I hope no one ever gets that knock on the door. Or if you do it’s just so they can use a radio. Just make sure, if that is why they came to knock on your door, you give em a talking to. And your phone number!
This one is dedicated to Mrs. Deputy and all the Police wives out there. To read her blog go to “The Family Behind his Badge” also check out my blog list for more great blogs to read.
Late at night there was a knock on the door. It was a forceful knock, like whoever was knocking had some very important business, at 9pm. So I quickly ran upstairs, almost in a panic just from the knocking. I opened the door to see two Police Officers standing in my door way.
My first thought was that something happened to T-rex. My heart dropped and I could not get anything out. I asked if T-rex was in trouble. That’s all I could say.
Nope said the officers, they just wanted to get his radio for the new guy.
My face turned red as I realized that T-rex was home! He was playing games, and not hurt.
Darn officers should have CALLED! It’s a phone, learn to use it!
But that did get me thinking. I didn’t know how they would notify me if something ever happened to T-rex when he was at work. I remember the one call that I got from him. It started out like this: “Don’t worry babe” So I worried! He was fine, but still that was not a good way to find out some bad news.
Turns out they do send officers to notify the family. If it’s at the Sheriff’s office they send Sheriff J and Mighty Mouse. I am not sure how I feel about that. I talked with MRS. K, her husband was T-rex’s boss when he was in the Jail. MR. K is funny, I like him. She told me that she has already made it clear to Sheriff J and Mighty Mouse that she would not open the door if they came and just knocked on it. I don’t blame her. I asked if she would come with the officers if something ever happened to T-rex and she said she would. I don’t know but just knowing that she would be there if I needed her really helped me get past the fear of the door knocking. I think we all should have a plan in place. I hope no one ever gets that knock on the door. Or if you do it’s just so they can use a radio. Just make sure, if that is why they came to knock on your door, you give em a talking to. And your phone number!
This one is dedicated to Mrs. Deputy and all the Police wives out there. To read her blog go to “The Family Behind his Badge” also check out my blog list for more great blogs to read.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sheriff J.
Out to Get me!
I don’t know much about Sheriff J, other than the fact that he is out to get me! I am sure deep down he is a nice man. . maybe even a good man. I know he is a good sheriff. But he is out to get me!
I had to go get T-rex’s Check. I already don’t like the idea of going to jail, and it is his work place so I feel out of place there. But I was off to get his check. If I don’t pick it up who knows when we will get it.
Shyly I walk in and smile at the secretary. She is a nice lady. She buzzes me in and I ask which box is T-rex’s.
Then Sheriff J walks in! He does not even have to say anything, he just looks at me and I feel like I am going to cry. He reminds me of my dad. I just know he knows I am guilty of something.
He knows I didn’t buckle in! He knows I left the kids in the car, didn’t use my turn signal, parked in his parking place, it doesn’t matter that he never uses it, its marked sheriff’s office only. I lied last year! I cursed at a teacher in high school! He is going to ground me! Take away my phone!
I start to sweat. I can’t breath. I shake a little as I pull out T-rex’s check from his box. Sheriff J looks at me. I am about to lose it right there.
“You can’t take his check. You’ll spend it all on makeup. You have to have him sign a paper for that.” Sheriff J seems so serious I don’t know what to say, or if I should just put it back and walk away.
“Um. . Well . .He said I could. I did before. You were not here. It was nice.” Yeah I like to put my foot in my mouth at random times.
“Oh. Just don’t spend it all on makeup and girly stuff.” Then he walks away. I must have been ghostly pale. The secretary smiles at me and then starts to laugh. I mumble something about how he makes me feel guilty then say goodbye.
Safe in the car I calm down enough to not burst into tears. Sheriff J was messing with me I realize. I make a plan to get back at him. I just know he has made it a personal goal of his to mess with me now. Sadly I think he will win. I don’t want to get grounded!
I don’t know much about Sheriff J, other than the fact that he is out to get me! I am sure deep down he is a nice man. . maybe even a good man. I know he is a good sheriff. But he is out to get me!
I had to go get T-rex’s Check. I already don’t like the idea of going to jail, and it is his work place so I feel out of place there. But I was off to get his check. If I don’t pick it up who knows when we will get it.
Shyly I walk in and smile at the secretary. She is a nice lady. She buzzes me in and I ask which box is T-rex’s.
Then Sheriff J walks in! He does not even have to say anything, he just looks at me and I feel like I am going to cry. He reminds me of my dad. I just know he knows I am guilty of something.
He knows I didn’t buckle in! He knows I left the kids in the car, didn’t use my turn signal, parked in his parking place, it doesn’t matter that he never uses it, its marked sheriff’s office only. I lied last year! I cursed at a teacher in high school! He is going to ground me! Take away my phone!
I start to sweat. I can’t breath. I shake a little as I pull out T-rex’s check from his box. Sheriff J looks at me. I am about to lose it right there.
“You can’t take his check. You’ll spend it all on makeup. You have to have him sign a paper for that.” Sheriff J seems so serious I don’t know what to say, or if I should just put it back and walk away.
“Um. . Well . .He said I could. I did before. You were not here. It was nice.” Yeah I like to put my foot in my mouth at random times.
“Oh. Just don’t spend it all on makeup and girly stuff.” Then he walks away. I must have been ghostly pale. The secretary smiles at me and then starts to laugh. I mumble something about how he makes me feel guilty then say goodbye.
Safe in the car I calm down enough to not burst into tears. Sheriff J was messing with me I realize. I make a plan to get back at him. I just know he has made it a personal goal of his to mess with me now. Sadly I think he will win. I don’t want to get grounded!
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