Monday, September 26, 2011

Life goes on

I hate that T-rex misses so much of our lives. I also wonder at times if I am not a little too active in the children’s activities. I mean, I sit here and wonder how people have a job?!  It would drive me crazy to not be there for every little thing that happens in their lives. And then I think that is not healthy, and I need a job, like yesterday! No matter what life goes on, the kids will keep going and playing. 
Unless they are Dino, and then things might be up in the air.  This kid has no clue how lucky she is. It was a typical busy Friday, homecoming here!  The kids got out of school early, and the older two were going to ride on a float for the parade. But Dino had to run back to class to get something.  She looked, she walked, and she nearly got ran over.

I can play it over and over again in my head, but I can’t put words to it.  There is nothing like watching your child’s life flash before your eyes. It is not an exaggeration when I say she had her feet under the top of the car before it stopped.  The car was going slow, and just looked both ways, and was just making her way across.  She didn’t do anything wrong.  Dino, looked saw the car was stopped at the cross walk and just started to walk, she didn’t do anything wrong. I just wish that they would have noticed a few feet before they did.

What bothered me the most I think wasn’t her reaction, or how close she was to being hurt, logically I now know that she would have been hurt, but no more than when she runs into the wall. My reaction is what still gets to me. I just froze and screamed.  I had never yelled so much, and yet I couldn’t move my feet at all. When it was all done and over with she was okay, she was across the street and I was still standing where I was.  I told the driver she is okay like 50 times, and thought I was okay.  And I was, until someone walked buy and said “that was scary.” Then I broke down and cried my eyes out.

T-rex would have run over there, pushed the car away, carried his baby girl to safety, and then ticketed everyone within hearing distance.  T-rex is cool like that.  Still life goes on.  T-rex can’t be there for everything that happens, and neither can I.  I have to trust that the kids will keep being okay, even if Dino has more close calls than most. Dino had a C-scan every year for the first 3 years of her life. We truly are lucky.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

UGH and good news!

Well first the good news!  Ammo in The Dryer was on the radio!!  Well an internet radio station, which totally rocks!  Check it out!/show/get_clear we are down a little ways, but that is because of the UGH news.

I hate being sick.  You never do hear people say “I love having a cold!”  And true part of me thinks a nice flu would be great right now, I could really use the time off.  I know the truth; there is no time off when you are sick wife of a cop.  Unless the cop has a few days off!  And T-rex did!  So I have spent a few days doing NOTHING. And I love it, and the house is a mess, and I don’t care.

I once came across a page for the man flu.  .. Google it. I think I got it, which is strange because I am not a man.  But this cold really kicked my butt.  Although hearing Dino tattle on me to her sisters was great.

“You should see mommy room!  It is so messy!  There are tissues all over! She needs to clean it up.”

Yeah kid!  Thanks, I will keep that in mind the next time you are sick.  Then all the girls go “ewww” at once. 

So now that I am doing better I am going to clean the room before a kid tattles on me again.  And maybe get the rest of the house in order.  But in my absence check out the Get Clear show!  There is a lot of great stuff on her show to get you thinking . . . and anyone willing to say hello to Ammo In the Dryer is great!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The cop voice.

T-rex made fun of me the other day for getting an “accent” when I talk business on the phone.  I guess I get into it a little. I also know I have a “mom voice” and I am sure I have used it on T-rex to get him to take out the trash from time to time.

My dad would use his drill-sergeant voice when I was in trouble. My mom was mast of “the look” she also has a “life coach voice” although I am sure she will deny it.  The different voices come out from time to time.  Most of the time we don’t even know we are doing it. But to play a role in life we often times use a voice also. It’s okay I am sure everyone has a different voice for a few things in life. 

Last night T-rex called and used his Cop Voice. I don’t much like the cop voice. It means work. It means he is going to be late. It means I am not to ask questions. I hate it. 

T-rex in cop voice: “I am going to be late. Got a (some strange 10 code). Bye”

Me: “Bye , I LOVE YOU!”

I am not sure he got the last part. He was in work mode. I was happy I got the call. Sometimes he cannot call. Sometimes he is just late.  But the calls always leave me on edge when he uses cop voice. Cop voice is never a really good thing.

An hour a two later I get another call.  Not as much cop voice I liked it better.

T-rex: “Go to bed babe, I am going to be another hour or so. I will tell you about it when I get home.”

Me: “Okay, I love you, stay safe.”

T-rex: “I will, Goodnight, I love you too.”

Next thing I know he is coming home.  I still don’t know what happened, but he seems okay. He is sleeping.  After he came home I remember him sitting and saying he will sleep in his truck for another 30 minutes in case the other officer needed help.  I think that might have been a dream. But if his cop voice is getting in my dreams I might have issues. . .

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

All alone. .. . . .

The kids all started school.  Well, Rae starts in about one hour from the time I have started to write this. Already I feel alone. T-rex is working mids this month, so I can see him a little in the morning when Rae is still home, and then Tuesdays and Thursdays if T-rex is working, I really will have the house to myself!

Sure this is not that big of a deal, I mean I am sure people live all over the world where they are not being bugged by someone 24/7.  You know a world where people can do the dishes all at once, without being asked to help with a dress, the bathroom, or break up a fight.  I am sure there is a world where people can take a bath in peace, where they can read a book, watch a show, vacuum, or even stare at a wall in peace. 

I don’t live in that world. I have not lived in that world for a very long time. The first thing on my list is to stare at the wall! But I bet T-rex will call me, he always calls me. I love him for that, even if it does drive me crazy.

The older two have been in school for about a week, they love it.  They are making friends, learning stuff, and hyper when they get home.  Rae can really use some time to make friends, and she is so happy to start school.  I am the one who is having a hard time.  I am happy for her and I know she will do a great job. But something about my baby going off to school is just hard.  I guess it is hard for a lot of mothers.  I am just happy this is only pre-school.  I am going to flip when they all go off to college!