Wednesday, May 24, 2017



So maybe not just a cop issue.  But it does seem there are unique things that cops have to deal with.  We all know that cops don’t make money (DUH).  The truth is there is also limited advancement. I teach, so we know there is not a whole lot there.  Although I have to say together we make enough, we really do, or should.  We also feel fast into debit.  It was easy to justify spending money on things when we work so hard, and gosh we do work hard.

So we have more debit than a family should have.  Much of it went to the house, the same house we now have to leave. That one hurts a lot. I thought we would be here longer, I thought it would pay off. I thought it would be okay.  But we all know that debit is never really a good thing.

So here we sit working our way out of the hole we put ourselves in. Many things have been sold, and there is more to go.  Many things have been given up, and many more things will be skipped. That is just the way it is going to be.  But I swear if I read one more post that tells me to give up expensive coffee and manicures I might flip! If I was broke (and I am ) the first thing I would do is drop coffee runs and anything else I don’t need. But also if I am broke, and cutting corners all over a nice coffee date at 10 bucks might just be what I need to keep going. So let me enjoy it without guilt!  

The thing that has helped us the most is honestly (a shameless plug) everydollar. T-rex and I each have the same account on our phones and are able to track everything. I am not saying we don’t still blow money, we do. But we are getting better at it, and we are able to see where we blow money so we can better plan for it, or change what we are doing.  

With this system we have also been able to get 1500.00 in savings for the move. We paid off one credit card, covered 3 emergencies in one month, and have kept going (nothing bounced and groceries in the house!) I cannot tell you have awesome that feels!  

There is still a long way to go. We move in about a month, the house has not sold, and I am afraid of how things are going to work out next month, but they will work out. We have a plan each month, and slowly things are getting paid off, money is being saved, and truly we are still living life. So, cops get on a budget!  Go for it and put in some blow money, go have fancy coffee, enjoy date night! But know what you are doing each month, adjust as needed and keep going.

Monday, May 22, 2017


I sat there. Outside on the patio set. The one I had to have. The one that represented a life style I desperately wanted. You see, I was going to get up early everyday, drink my coffee, and enjoy a few minutes outside before going off to work. That was the plan. But as I sat there today it was clear the plan never worked, and soon never would.

Several months ago I knew I had to leave my job teaching. I could write a whole blog just about that adventure!  Lets leave it that after two years of abuse it was time to go, but still really hard!  We have to sale our house, pack up and move.

All of that left a sad feeling, feeling unwanted, feeling trapped, feeling, alone, feeling broke (actually being broke!)

So the plan was set, pay off all the debit we can (way to much to go into here) and get some in savings, move and start a new job. I found a wonderful teaching job that I am currently eager to start. Yet I still look around my current home and feel a deep loss, everything I wanted was set here, but none of it ever came to be. Some of that comes with the crazy life of a cop. We never did host a party, I usually slept in late because I stayed up late.

It has just been hard. There is nothing else to say about it really. I am saying goodbye to a life I thought I wanted, but never even put into place. I am saying goodbye to the idea of this place more than anything. (And all the stuff we sold to make the move possible) 

Monday, October 3, 2016

Make Time!!

One of the hardest things about the shift work is making time for erhm. . sex.

There are also the differences between men and women to figure out

There are also you know, all normal pains that come with being a cop.

So, Last week I talked about staying fit together.  Added benefit, the sex gets better

I don't know how it works, something about smells (although I don't buy for one second that gym sock smell turns a person on!)

Here is what I do know:

1. Being physical in a way that is not just Physical helps the Physical (follow along?)
2. Communication is key
3. Make time (A passing in the night 5 am quicky is a good thing!)
4. Make time!!
5. Be aware of the other person's needs (I need to be NOT physical at times and T-rex NEEDS a physical connection)

There is no quick fix if this part of the relationship is hurting, just remember to talk about it, and sometimes you might need to shut up and just do it!    We recently had to talk about how the shift work was affecting that part of our marriage, something in the busyness that is life we hadn't even really looked at!  How sad!!  Look at your physical relationship, talk about it, and then, as other police wives have said "go make some cookies!"

There also also a lot of tools out there to help keep the marriage strong, the physical part is only one part of your relationship, don't forget to keep connected on ALL parts.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Staying Fit on the Night Shift

Okay, really this could be just a motivational thing for ME!  I am not fit, and I am not on the night shift.

Finding time to workout can be hard when life is so busy!

We all see the ads for different workout programs, and the truth is I love some of them!  I have joined some groups, started new things, some have helped some not so much.

What has really helped, and I know you have heard it before is to make working out a priority.

But that really makes me sad when I only have 30 minutes on average with T-rex any given week.

So, we try to work out together. .  ..I say try, because we have vastly different ideas of what working out should be.

Me: I just walked 5 minutes!  Time for a drink!

T-rex:  Yeah, No, You should lift some weights

Me: You should do cardio

T-rex:  I do!  I lift weights fast!

Me:  Yeah, No. You should walk with me

T-rex: some grunt that we can't understand

35 minutes later T-rex is done with his workout and smelling like a gym sock.  I have spent the last 30 minutes watching cat videos on YouTube. But I did find some good stuff on the YouTube spiral that happens, More marriage advice :)

Fyi:  Working out also helps in this area :)

More on this next week, but for now, watch the Video!!

How to have a God solid Marriage (Sex)

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Too much to do!

One of the down sides of being married to a cop is that it often seems like  I am the only one to do anything around the house.  Several books talk about the cops inability to make decisions at home because they make split second decisions all day long! Well, I am a teacher, and  I answer questions ALL DAY LONG!  I too am incapable of deciding what is for dinner, don't ask me!

So what do we do?

Make the list!

T-rex and I spend a good part of our time together planing.  So you know, like the total of 5 minutes we have together!

T-rex:  What's the plan this week?

Me:  Huh? Is that a question?  DON'T ask questions.

T-rex:  I have Wednesday off. . . .

Me: Fine, we will go shopping that day.

T-rex:  Like a date?

Me:  That is a sad date   *googles grocery lists*

We have mastered the quick communication!  Date night is important, but often does combine some chore.  No matter, it is time alone, and the drive to town is our time to reconnect.  We talk about everything, work, kids, dreams, goals, people that tick us off, and plans to take over the world.

I also suggest getting a home binder to keep everything in order. Anything would work!  I have really liked this one from Amazon, but before that we just used a spiral notebook with lists, and notes to each other.  We kept it on the kitchen counter and checked it as we got ready for our day. . . . no matter what time that was.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Love of Old dead people

Falling in love with some old dead white dude.

It really is what History Teachers do.

But OMG why did I not have a class on President Garfield!!

He is awesome!

I love the way he wrote.
They all wrote so nice "back in the day"
Could be my new Favorite President.

All because of the book  Destiny of the Republic.  WOW.

Just get the book and see how cool he is!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

When a Cop gives advice does it always end in some type of "EH" I don't let that bother me?

So kinda a long title, but that is where I am at.  I have had some problems with "clients" at work.  So okay students. .  .their parents. . . .

I love what I do all day, but there are times where I feel far less than capable, and it gets hard when no one ever says "yeah you are a good teacher!"

T-rex does not have advice to help this.  He always ends it with "Eh, I just don't let that bother me anymore"


That does not help!!  Do you know what would help. . . Chocolate, a nap, some flowers, tickets for everyone who annoys me. . . .You know the things like that.

OHHH but I better not joke about that. . . .or anything ..  .. I wish everyone had a cop's idea of funny.  It would make things much easier if no one would get offended.

Oh and  I bet it is easy to let things go when you know if it gets really bad you CAN give a ticket, or something. . .But that is just a theory.

I need this for like all Life things!!