Friday, August 19, 2011

We're roommates until Friday.

Growing up my dad gave me some good advice and a lot of bad advice too!  But one thing he told me that had always stuck with me was that people can be married and happy without being IN love as long as they love each other.  
This stuck with me because when I got married I was not in the butterfly mad love. I just loved T-rex, I knew that no matter what happened in life I would always care about him, and somehow I knew I would be able to put up with him. 

I am not sure he always feels like he can put up with me.

I think the added stress of being a police officer, the long hours, strange hours, and typical stress that only a cop’s wife knows about makes it harder. We are learning to deal with these things and still find times when we can be IN love. Yet it is hard. And it really seems that when T-rex is feeling the love I am feeling like a roommate. 
We have found the schedule that works best for both of us, typically nights. We have found the things we need to do for each other to make this work. T-rex has to give me a day off every now and again. I also have to stop getting on him about house stress the minute he comes home. Like all things there needs to be a balance. 
I have seen too many fall into divorce because they are still working on the balance, or even more than that they fall into the roommate phase and think something is wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with that in itself. It becomes a problem when there really is no way getting out if it. But even then with a little work falling in love is not too hard.
All things have ups and downs.  I think the ups and downs are a little closer together, and a little bigger with cops.
So yeah we might be little more than roommates until Friday, work, kids and life get in the way.  But in the end We are always husband and wife. I love you T-rex!


Meadowlark said...

Marriage comes and goes. Sometimes it's great, sometimes not-so-great. Like your dad says, Roll with the punches and it'll work out.


(ps... is it something on my computer or do you now have advertising links within your post?)

Yellow said...

Hum, there were ad links in the posts, I have taken them out.