Monday, April 11, 2011

Tell me!!!

I really want to know

If you are a cop what details do you share with your wife? If you are a wife of a cop what details does your husband share? Do you get to hear about all the calls, or do you get no information at all?

I think it is a good for cops to be able to share the big calls, the stuff that has gotten to them. Things like when T-rex dealt with his first dead body, we talked about that a lot. But then there are things I don’t get to hear about at all. Truly I think T-rex shares a little more with me than some of the other guys on his department. Yet in a small town that it is a good thing I don’t know it all. I am sure it would get me into some kind of trouble to know this and the gossip starts to go around.

But because T-rex doesn’t share that much with me I don’t have a lot to write about here! No it is more than that, his job sometimes seems like a mystery to me. I mean we do talk about his day it goes something like this:

Me: How was work?

T-tex: Great, I pulled someone over for almost 20 over, he was not happy with the ticket.

Me: Wow that is fast!

T-rex: Guy acted like he was going to fight it, I wish I had my (insert some cop term) on with me.

Me: Um yeah

T-rex: then I could have had voice on the recording

Me: Oh, anything else go on at work?

T-rex: I got a call out to (small town) some crazy stuff in that town!

Me: Oh really?

T-rex: Yeah I got a call to go out there because some kid wanted to run away from home. He just called.

Me: oh

Yeah see you now know nothing too! But then again that might be a whole lot to some other people. It is so different from the academy where he would tell me everything he learned, and everything he was doing. Now I get short little bites. What is really bad is when the gossip people get more information than I do! I have to run home and ask T-rex if what sally talks a lot says is true, sometimes it is!

So I want to know how much information do you give out or get?


Courtney said...

I am the wife of a cop and am lucky. Hubby shares with me almost everything. I find that it helps with stress levels all around. Now, I am sworn to secrecy.....n :)

Meadowlark said...

I get all of it that he remembers ;) Since all our friends are cops too, if I hear something and mention it to him, he's famous for "oh yeah... I forgot that part". But at least I get most of it. :)

Pam Landy said...

JB's pretty open. If I ask for it, I get it. Other times, he's raring to tell me about one call from the night before, usually because it's particularly insane. I keep telling him he should write a book. :)

TM said...

I usually have to ask if I want to hear something, but even then, I don't get much. If something is really bothering him, he'll open up a bit. He really likes to keep work separate from home life though.

Erica said...

He tells me things for the most part. I hear things he forgets or doesn't want to tell me when we are hanging out with his other cop friends so overall I feel I hear a lot.

W. Butler said...

I only talk about the funny stuff. Everything else is unnecessary, especially if your significant other knows little or nothing about the job. No need to create undue worry or stress.

Mrs. Gumshoe said...

We talk about most of it. After several years, I still find it fascinating that it's totally normal for him to get up close and personal with a dead body and I would probably freak out. Anything child-abuse related or any sex crimes he won't share b/c I don't want to hear about those things.

Hollywood said...

I have been a cop for just under 2 years now, but was a firefighter for 6 before that (yes I turned to the dark side). With both jobs we encounter a lot of things that just don't need to come home with us.

A part of me wants to be that "protector" and shield my wife from the horrors of the real world, a part of me doesn't think she should be exposed to some thing I need to do and deal with at work and the other part of me just doesn't want to relive some of it.

As a firefighter I held the hand of a child as he died, standing there helpless, knowing there was nothing I could do. I have yet to tell my wife about this for those above reasons. She doesn't need to live that experience through me and I really don't want to think about it if I don't have to.

As a cop I had a guy pull a gun on me that wasn't loaded. I didn't know that, he didn't know that, but my little angel did...or so I hope. And he was standing too close for me to get mine out. So we ended up fighting on the floor for it. These are things that she doesn't need to know. Not because I don't think that she can't handle it, but because as of today, 58 police officers have died on duty in the united states. When I leave for work I NEED her to know that I will come home. Her knowing that I will be home after my shift gives me strength to make it through some of these times. Being able to wrestle with someone twice my size is easy with I can keep telling my self "I'm going home to my wife, she is expecting me," and knowing that she will be pissed if I don't ;-). If she has that "will be come home safe?" look on her face...that's all I will think about for the next 12 hours. Not my job and safety.

It's nothing personal and it's not us thinking that you can't "handle it." It's us doing our jobs and "protecting" you from the organized chaos that we call work. No one should have to do some of the things we do, see some of the things we see and deal with some of the things we deal with...if we are going to shield the general public form these thins, I'm diffidently not bringing it home with me. Some times its best to just forget.

I love my wife with all my heart. She knows and understands that when asked "How was your shift?" If I reply simply with "OK." Leave it alone. It's my own personal hell and cross to bear. I have my reasons...and so does your LEO.

If you really want to know the behind the scenes stories...go out with your LEO and his/her work friends for a few drinks. I can't tell you how many times I have been slapped on the back of the head with a stern look and "You never told me about that!" on the way home. Love my brothers and sisters, but if they don't quit telling the "Remember that one time" stories, she is going to kill me!! ;-)

Just remember, what we don't share is out of love.

Yellow said...

Okay I tried to comment before but my computer was being silly, I am happy I didn't get to post until after Hollywood Posted his comment :)
I don't even know where to start now. I guess T-rex does tell me a little more than I give him credit for. (maybe I play too many cartoons in my head?)
And as much as I can agree with what Hollywood posted I have to call BS on some of it. First I dont think work, Police Work, or anything else needs to be your own personal hell and cross to bear alone. I think that when people are married they should be able to be there for each other 100% even the crummy things we dont really want to deal with.
Yet there are some things that I just dont want T-rex to ever tell me about. Sure he can tell me the basics a quick what it was, but for details he is going to have to go some where else. I married the man not the job ya know. So I hear what is being said, but I don't think there needs to be black and white never talk about work when at home. I do think things need to be a little more open when work starts to affect who he is at home.
And if anyone thinks being a LEO, or married to one does not affect who you are really should take a closer look, or stay a cop a little longer. There can be good and bad things that come out of be a cop, and the bad things can kill marriages, but they can also be dealt with. Being a LEO is not a map to divorce, but it can be.

Tina K. said...

I think I get to hear quite a bit, but I work for the DA's office, so I get to see my own bunch of fun and may understand what he does a little better than if I had another job. I love hearing all of it, even if it is 5am. :)