I don’t think it ever does get any easier. Perhaps it even gets harder with time. The bew bew bew sound of the radio alarm goes off with a painful cry. The kiss goodbye almost feels ere, not comforting. This was the first early morning call out in our small town after the many police shootings in our nation. This was the first in our small town where the suspect had a gun. This was the first I overheard what was happening. I liked it better when the officers were called on their phone. This also was going to take place just two blocks over. I remind myself that the town is so small, everything is just a few blocks over. I remind myself that the call was going happen if I heard it or not, and now I was able to help pull out boots. I remind myself that gun are not bad. I remind myself that a kiss goodbye happens on good days. I remind him to put a vest on. I remind him I love him.




Outside my window I can hear more and more of our officers running to the danger. I know he is not alone. I know that good will prevail today, at any cost. It is that cost I am sick of paying. It feels deeply personal every time an officer pays that price. It is my family. It is a person who would do anything to keep me safe. We have already paid too much, our blue family may come home, but it is never over.