Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Velcro. . and more Velcro

The longest HOW to ever.

I am going to have to have T-rex write this one. I don’t know all the little details.

I know that it starts with a lot of Velcro. For all I know there is not much else to it.

Velcro loops.Image via Wikipedia
How to get dressed like a cop:

1. Velcro

2. Velcro

3. Velcro

4. Velcro

5. Velcro

6. Velcro

7. Velcro

8. Velcro

9. Shirt

10. Pants

11. Velcro

12. Velcro

13. Velcro

14. Velcro

15. Velcro

16. Velcro

17. Velcro

18. Velcro

19. Belt keepers

20. Boots, with Velcro

21. Hat with Velcro

22. More stuff for a belt, some of it Velcro.

23. Badge, where you still manage to poke yourself, even though there is so much Velcro to keep you “safe”

How do I know about all this Velcro? Well it is what wakes me up at 5 am, the sound of Velcro going veeer sheeeeer. A million times over and over again.

I know he looks cute in his uniform, but it is one of those things where if you know how it is done it losses all its appeal. If the getting dress is not enough to turn someone off then getting out of a uniform, which is just as bad and twice as smelly will surly kill any mood left.


Pam Landy said...

Oh dear God - JB already teases me about getting the stink eye, but if this happened while I was in bed, the eye would burn a hole right through his vest. He can't do this in the bathroom? Really?

Thank goodness his department has a locker room! And good luck to you! <3

Yellow said...


I think I envy you! A locker room! I would kill for one right now. And no, for some reason he finds our closet a good place to do this. He doesn't want to wake the kids. I don't think they would get up.

Meadowlark said...

It took years of complaining to get mine to move his ass to the spare bedroom for those early morning and late night dress/undress sessions. SERIOUSLY... I'm a light sleeper, MUST you do this in here?

Aaaargh. Good luck with this one. :)