Thursday, June 23, 2011

I Am a Police Officer’s Wife . . . And Nothing Else?

The question was asked on one of the police wives forums that I go to a lot if we have ever ran into a wife who just didn’t care that her husband was a cop. The asker of the question and many of the responses seemed to point that yes we all have. But more disturbing to me was the fact that this trait was not good.

I have seen the other side of it. I have seen wives who become nothing but a cop’s wife. To me that is far sadder. Sure I am proud to be the wife of a Deputy, but there is far more to me than my husband’s job. I spend my day doing typical mom and wife stuff, well as typical as it can be when you are married to a cop. I run the kids to play dates, I go to school, I have dreams, and I hope someday to make some real money. My dreams are not tied to what might happen to my husband’s job.

I don’t go around with the “oh poor me! My husband is in danger!” kind of attitude. Even if I do share it here a lot! This is my place to vent, to talk about this PART of my life. This part does find a way to creep into every other part of my life. But I guess that is just piece of the life of a cop’s wife.

I am a cop’s wife, and I love it. I would not change it for anything. I love seeing my husband do what he was made to do. As any long time cop would tell you it is in their blood. It truly is. And as such I was born to be a cop’s wife. I get the stress, the danger and all of the other silly things that come with it. Most cops’ wives fall into two categories, the ones that were born for this and the ones who cannot stand it. Yet we all deal with it in different ways. Some just treat it like another job, and it is after all. Others take things too far. Their whole lives are about being married to a cop.

I am very proud of my husband and I will support him forever, but I am not going to stop living MY life the way I want to just because he is a cop. My advice, find balance. Our cops do need our support. But we also need to live our lives.

So I am a Police Officer’s Wife, but I am so much more too. I love it.

But truth is I don’t think the guys need near as much support as the wives do! This blog is not here to support the cops and their job. . . it is to support the wives and our job of dealing with the crazy, slightly demented mind that makes a great cop. And T-rex truly is a great cop.


Mandy said...

I agree with you 100%. We both work and contribute equally to our home. We have no kids so both of us working is easier than if we did. I hear daycare is expensive. My idea of daycare is telling my dogs to "watch the house and stay off the sofa!" LOL! My hubby supports me with whatever I want to do and the support is returned. Right now I am on this kick to get my craft and home decor blog rolling, along with an etsy store. He doesn't understand why i would give up a well paying job for it but its like I tell him... Id rather smile when he gets home from work than say "OMG! Your never going to believe this... or I can't take the market anymore!"

There is times when I worry about him but I always know he will do his best to be safe. If I didn't have that comfort I don't know what I would do.

I am very proud of my hubby and his picture sits on my desk at work but I never really brag about his job because I get tired of the questions. You really can't explain whats its like to be a cop wife and have someone really understand.

Betty said...

How does a wife take it too far for being a cops wife? Examples? The wives that i know including myself support and understand their husbands job.

Unknown said...

I very much enjoyed this! I agree with everything you said! im very proud of my husband and we live a ' normal' life.. We are 12 years apart and just had our first child and our life is absolutely amazing.. Ive seen to pain and struggles this life intakes but it doesn't define us.. He comes home, talks about his day (good or bad), and we spend time as a family.. sure he has those days where he needs to just be alone but I support everything he needs. but our life is as normal as anyone elses and I work hard for it to be that way!