99.9% of the time my mom is able to tell me what I need to hear in a way that I need to hear it. When that .1% of the time comes around it’s hard for me. Hey I have been babied with a great understanding mother. But she has those skills to reach people on that level that makes them want to go for something more. My mom hints at in her post, but she is a Life Coach for Clarity Life coaching. . .okay she is THE coach, the owner and all that stuff. Her ability to reach people is not just limited to me, and I hope you can find something in what she wrote that will help you. Or just make you smile and see how much I really do freak out.
Welcome to my Daughter Yellow
Yellow? Is that what I named her? I mean I know yellow is my favorite color and all, but I really don’t remember naming my precious 6 lb, 9.5 oz baby girl “Yellow!”
Oh well, that is neither hear nor there. I guess the important thing is to tell you who I am and why I’m posting on Yellow’s blog. I’m Laura…or maybe I’m “Green?” Hard to tell with all of the name switching going on,…but I digress! I’m Laura and I’m Yellow’s mom.
I have loved watching my daughter’s blog posts about being the wife of a cop. Mostly because I can identify! You see, my husband was also in law enforcement. That’s right, Yellow’s father was also in law enforcement. They say we women have a tendency to grow up and marry men like our fathers. Well my daughter certainly did! In spades! She married her father in magnification.
As a result of a combination of things, my daughter has a tendency to call me almost daily and either ask for advice or blow off steam about being married to her cop. I think she thinks I have some kind of “inside track” on exactly how to handle every situation that comes up because of my past experience being married to a man in law enforcement and also because I am a professional life coach.
Daily I coach people in a variety of areas. I have helped coach people to success in business, parenting, relationships, life path and so much more. In fact, one of my most interesting clients was a man who had held over 32 jobs in less than 10 years…yeah…we didn’t make much progress with him. ANYWHOOOO...Yellow must seem to think I have some secret formula for handling the stress that comes from being married to a man who is frequently not home for meals, can’t talk about anything other than the latest department issued, hand gun or often misses the kids school plays and dance recitals. The truth is, there is no “magic formula.”
I think, like any wife of a law enforcement professional, each of us has had to learn our own way of coping with the stress and frustration of it all. My daily advice to Yellow usually goes something like this:
Yellow: “AHHH…help! I was up all night worrying about T-Rex!
Yellow: “Because he had to go out on a call to an accident and I just started worrying that he might get hit by another car on the road…….”
Me: (remember now…these are my magic words) “Oh honey, you can’t let it bother you.”
Easier said than done, right? But that’s just it! You have to make a decision, day in and day out that you are in control of only one thing when it comes to your cop’s career. You are and only will be in control of YOUR OWN THOUGHTS!
I know it sounds simple and in some ways it is, you have to simply tell yourself over and over, “I don’t have to think negative thoughts unless I choose to.”
Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is tricky, but what if you were able to do what I used to do when my husband was in law enforcement? What if, instead of worrying about how to pay the bills and raise the kids if something bad were to happen to him, you started to fantasize that he was just given the Keys to the State for his sudden service and bravery! Wouldn’t it be awesome if the “victim” of the accident he was working turned out to be the Governor of the state you lived in? Next thing you know, he’s invited to the Governor’s mansion for a dinner in his honor. Oh NO!! What will you wear? We all know police officers don’t make enough money to buy a nice fancy expensive dress! Don’t forget about having to go to the spa or salon to get your nails and hair done so that you look fantastic for the press! After all, you’re the wife of a hero…wait…I digressed again. I mean wouldn’t it be wonderful if the Governor wanted to honor him with the Keys to the State and offered him a job as his personal body guard? Really, when was the last time you heard of anyone hurting the Governor? Besides, it would be much better hours, not to mention the fantastic pay raise that would come along with it.
Anyway…after about an hour of this line of fantasizing, your husband will call to tell you that he’s just fine and all is well with him. You will be able to sleep comfortable with your new thoughts of dresses, paparazzi, pay raises and job changes!
So I love Yellow, and T-Rex too. They remind me of the life I had when my kids were being raised by a freaked out wife of a cop who was never home, often grumpy and really lived in his own world. It also reminds me that I survived by looking at the positive and Yellow will too!
Happy blogging Yellow! Mom loves you! Even when you call her all freaked out over nothing :)