Wednesday, July 20, 2011

How to Iron a Uniform (updated)

1.       Don’t do it!

If you find that you Have to do it because of one of the following reasons go to step two:

1.       Your husband ran over his own hand

2.       Your husband recently bunt his hand making you food at midnight at your request

3.       You woke up to find that your husband has cleaned the whole house, dumped all the trash, did the wash, folded it and put it all away, the bathroom is clean, and the kids are dressed and matching!

I also say if this ever happens have your husband stay out of lighting and got a lotto ticket, or you do, because one of you has some very strange luck

2.       Don’t Do IT!  Take the uniform the dry cleaners!

Few things should stop you from being able to take the uniform to the cleaners. If however you find one of the following please go to step three:

1.       The drycleaners was a target for some ninja spies and now is just a pile of rubble

2.       A swarm of killer bees has taken over the whole block and you are highly allergic

3.       Your husband has recently arrested the dry cleaner, his wife and their teenage son, they also look like the type to know how to put out a hit.

Now depending on where you live number 3 might be a possibility, but again if the first two happen go get a lotto ticket and stay out of storms.
3.       Don’t do it!

Here are a few ways to still avoid the iron, some may work for you, some may take too much time, but all worth a little effort.

1.       Go visit your mother or mother –in-law if you can, mother-in-laws might love the opportunity to show you how you have been messing up her sons uniform.  Enjoy it, you get out of ironing.

2.       Buy him a new uniform from a company that already sends the pants out pressed.

3.       Before the terrible things could happen to make you HAVE to iron spray everything with a lot of starch and only wash when you HAVE to.

4.       Join the city commissioners or city council or whatever group votes on silly things like uniforms and push for soft, wash and wear uniforms.  .push hard.

5.       Drive the hour to the next closest dry cleaners

If all of that fails you can try your best to iron the thing, send him off to work in it anyway. Then go out and get a new newspaper and some coffee. Highlight all the drycleaners in the area, a few new places to rent for cheap, and whatever jobs you or he might be interested in.  Have all of this ready for your husband when he comes home from work all upset that he got grief for his uniform.


MONICA-LnP said...

LOL!my hubs gave me one to iron and I totally forgot about it til I read your post,usually the drycleaner does all his uniforms but he turned them in to late!I HATE ironing!

Meadowlark said...

LOVED this post!!!! I don't iron... we both learned in our Beloved Corps, so I know he knows how just as well as I do.

Besides, he's in detectives now and gets a drycleaning allowance. YEAH BABY!!!