Make Time!!

One of the hardest things about the shift work is making time for erhm. . sex.

There are also the differences between men and women to figure out

There are also you know, all normal pains that come with being a cop.

So, Last week I talked about staying fit together.  Added benefit, the sex gets better

I don't know how it works, something about smells (although I don't buy for one second that gym sock smell turns a person on!)

Here is what I do know:

1. Being physical in a way that is not just Physical helps the Physical (follow along?)
2. Communication is key
3. Make time (A passing in the night 5 am quicky is a good thing!)
4. Make time!!
5. Be aware of the other person's needs (I need to be NOT physical at times and T-rex NEEDS a physical connection)

There is no quick fix if this part of the relationship is hurting, just remember to talk about it, and sometimes you might need to shut up and just do it!    We recently had to talk about how the shift work was affecting that part of our marriage, something in the busyness that is life we hadn't even really looked at!  How sad!!  Look at your physical relationship, talk about it, and then, as other police wives have said "go make some cookies!"

There also also a lot of tools out there to help keep the marriage strong, the physical part is only one part of your relationship, don't forget to keep connected on ALL parts.

Staying Fit on the Night Shift

Okay, really this could be just a motivational thing for ME!  I am not fit, and I am not on the night shift.

Finding time to workout can be hard when life is so busy!

We all see the ads for different workout programs, and the truth is I love some of them!  I have joined some groups, started new things, some have helped some not so much.

What has really helped, and I know you have heard it before is to make working out a priority.

But that really makes me sad when I only have 30 minutes on average with T-rex any given week.

So, we try to work out together. .  ..I say try, because we have vastly different ideas of what working out should be.

Me: I just walked 5 minutes!  Time for a drink!

T-rex:  Yeah, No, You should lift some weights

Me: You should do cardio

T-rex:  I do!  I lift weights fast!

Me:  Yeah, No. You should walk with me

T-rex: some grunt that we can't understand

35 minutes later T-rex is done with his workout and smelling like a gym sock.  I have spent the last 30 minutes watching cat videos on YouTube. But I did find some good stuff on the YouTube spiral that happens, More marriage advice :)

Fyi:  Working out also helps in this area :)

More on this next week, but for now, watch the Video!!

How to have a God solid Marriage (Sex)

Too much to do!

One of the down sides of being married to a cop is that it often seems like  I am the only one to do anything around the house.  Several books talk about the cops inability to make decisions at home because they make split second decisions all day long! Well, I am a teacher, and  I answer questions ALL DAY LONG!  I too am incapable of deciding what is for dinner, don't ask me!

So what do we do?

Make the list!

T-rex and I spend a good part of our time together planing.  So you know, like the total of 5 minutes we have together!

T-rex:  What's the plan this week?

Me:  Huh? Is that a question?  DON'T ask questions.

T-rex:  I have Wednesday off. . . .

Me: Fine, we will go shopping that day.

T-rex:  Like a date?

Me:  That is a sad date   *googles grocery lists*


We have mastered the quick communication!  Date night is important, but often does combine some chore.  No matter, it is time alone, and the drive to town is our time to reconnect.  We talk about everything, work, kids, dreams, goals, people that tick us off, and plans to take over the world.

I also suggest getting a home binder to keep everything in order. Anything would work!  I have really liked this one from Amazon, but before that we just used a spiral notebook with lists, and notes to each other.  We kept it on the kitchen counter and checked it as we got ready for our day. . . . no matter what time that was.

Love of Old dead people

Falling in love with some old dead white dude.


It really is what History Teachers do.

But OMG why did I not have a class on President Garfield!!

He is awesome!

I love the way he wrote.
They all wrote so nice "back in the day"
Could be my new Favorite President.

All because of the book  Destiny of the Republic.  WOW.

Just get the book and see how cool he is!

When a Cop gives advice does it always end in some type of "EH" I don't let that bother me?

So kinda a long title, but that is where I am at.  I have had some problems with "clients" at work.  So okay students. .  .their parents. . . .

I love what I do all day, but there are times where I feel far less than capable, and it gets hard when no one ever says "yeah you are a good teacher!"

T-rex does not have advice to help this.  He always ends it with "Eh, I just don't let that bother me anymore"

WTH?

That does not help!!  Do you know what would help. . . Chocolate, a nap, some flowers, tickets for everyone who annoys me. . . .You know the things like that.

OHHH but I better not joke about that. . . .or anything ..  .. I wish everyone had a cop's idea of funny.  It would make things much easier if no one would get offended.

Oh and  I bet it is easy to let things go when you know if it gets really bad you CAN give a ticket, or something. . .But that is just a theory.

I need this for like all Life things!!  

http://www.zazzle.com/smokykitten

How to get stuff done when your cop is sleeping during the day

How to get stuff done when your cop is sleeping during the day:

1. Don’t

2. Eat cake and watch bad TV (on low volume)

3. Take a nap

4. Turn into that person who vacuums at 10pm

5. Dream of day shift

6. Find out Day shift also stinks (I had the whole bed to myself!!) 

We rotate shifts here, and there are good and bad to all of them. On Nights I do love the bed to myself, I am a night person. But I also hate that he is not home, that I cannot make sure T-rex is okay.

On Days I could get things done around the house or whatever. I also know what time he should be home and we can eat together. I have to share my bed! He snores. The Dogs want to sleep with him.

I would say that my least favorite shift is Mids. He goes from 1:30-1:30. What the heck!! No meals together, No bed time together, no seeing the kids after school, and when did he really get home?! Then he sleeps all day. It is an evil shift. I hate mids.

I lied, there is not good and bad to all of them, One of them is a dumb shift that I hate.

http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-and-work-the-night-shift/

It is easy to get caught up in the slow pace of the small town. A place where a DUI, some kids at a party, and cow calls are a busy day. There is a feeling of no worry, if the officer is late getting home it is because he was talking with the guys at the office, not because something happened that he now has to deal with.



HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH



I cannot lie, most days are clam. But even after all the deaths, parties, DUIs, fights, and so on T-rex has had to deal with, we had a new one. A chase. I don’t know what it is about this area, but people actually think they can run?! A chase scares me. Just NO. I don’t want it to happen. It seems like nothing good can come out of going 80mph on a dirt farm road. 

At the end of the day the other officers congratulated T-rex for making it into his first chase. I did the only thing I could. I told him No.

I don’t think it ever does get any easier. Perhaps it even gets harder with time. The bew bew bew sound of the radio alarm goes off with a painful cry. The kiss goodbye almost feels ere, not comforting. This was the first early morning call out in our small town after the many police shootings in our nation. This was the first in our small town where the suspect had a gun. This was the first I overheard what was happening. I liked it better when the officers were called on their phone. This also was going to take place just two blocks over. I remind myself that the town is so small, everything is just a few blocks over. I remind myself that the call was going happen if I heard it or not, and now I was able to help pull out boots. I remind myself that gun are not bad. I remind myself that a kiss goodbye happens on good days. I remind him to put a vest on. I remind him I love him.




Outside my window I can hear more and more of our officers running to the danger. I know he is not alone. I know that good will prevail today, at any cost. It is that cost I am sick of paying. It feels deeply personal every time an officer pays that price. It is my family. It is a person who would do anything to keep me safe. We have already paid too much, our blue family may come home, but it is never over.