Random

I think it is a little funny how a job title will change how people look at you. Being a cop seems to bring a lot of extreme reactions. Sadly it seems so few take the job, or at least the people doing the job, seriously. Few even respect the job. There are the few people who respect the job, take the officers seriously and care. But it is hard to find. I guess going back to my home town for the holiday made me think about how far T-rex and I have come, and yet we still face some of the same issues we did in high school. Maybe that is just the effects of going back to a small town, or maybe that is just something that happens when we deal with the effects of his job. I don’t know. But it sure seems like the cop life is always going to be a part of our life. Like it is something we can never get away from as long as people know what T-rex does for a living. It also kind of seems like T-rex can’t get away from it. Nothing is as fun as watching him hit the dash looking for his lights until he remembers that he is in his personal car!




PS. I love you T-rex

Should be charged!

T-rex was telling me of a few cases where parents were just being dumb. Sad part is half the time they don’t get into any trouble for their stupid actions, even if the actions put the kids in danger. I get a kick out of the mom who drops her young child off at the home of a wanted man. Then gets all upset because poor little Jonny had a gun pointed at him when the SWAT kicked in the door. Well, yeah that does suck goat balls lady but if you KNEW he was wanted, you KNEW he was a criminal then why in the world would you just drop your kid off?

Or the drunken lady who drives around town all pissed off at her husband, and she “forgets” to put her baby in the car seat. Oh she did get charged, but that didn’t stop the stupidness from keeping her children, with no parent classes.

The dad who helps his son get beer and condoms so he can be a “real man” at 16 years old. Only to have said son try and drive home after drinking too much and as far as I know not finding a good use for the condoms. Sure dad and son might have gotten charged, but who cares, the same lack of parenting is going to keep going on in that house.

Then there are the general stupid things, like letting you daughter out of the house dressed like that and then wonder why everyone calls her bad names. Or letting your underage child drive because you are too hung-over or drunk. I mean really people!

I always hated when people would say “everyone should take an IQ test before having children!” I know some very “blond” people who would make silly mistakes all their lives, but they are also the best parents ever! I know some very smart people who just can’t be parents, they would mess a child up so bad. But still there should be something, some kind of way to prevent children from having to have parents who are criminal in their raising.

I don’t question why parents who are trash tend to have kids who are trash, it makes me feel bad for the kids, but at some point the children need to make up their mind to not be like their parents. I am sure it is hard, but I know my own parents looked at their own crappy parents and said “Um NOT me!” They changed the family tree so to say, they learned from the parents total mess ups and picked to be better, to do better. It can be done, and at some point you can’t say it was your parents fault.

 
**None of the "cases" listed above are ones that T-rex worked, or that happened here, however some could be just like the cases listed above ;)  ***
 
That was me covering my butt just so ya know.

Emergency!

So, T-rex has had a few strange calls to go out too. Mostly I find the “cow out” calls to be funny! He doesn’t work dispatch so he does not have to deal with that kind of crazy call! Thank Goodness because I have heard people calling in for some very stupid things! One that sticks in my mind is a woman calling because the fast food place would not give her what she wanted (I don’t think it was burger King BTW.)

Well today we had our own little emergency. Rae ran out of Gummy snacks! You know the little fruit flavored colored squishy things. They come in all kinds of different shapes. We like dinosaurs and Dora, I like the bears (something about biting a bear head off is very satisfying) they taste like junk but Rae will only eat gummies! One time I sent T-rex to the store to get gummies and he came home with the gummy lifesavers. Rae was just fine with this but they are known as Squishy snacks.

Today we had to run to the store just for her snacks. I don’t promote junk food, but we do have some snacks around the house for afterschool or when Rae has to sit still for her sisters’ projects. I know that I cave too much. But if you had seen how devastated she was you too would have ran out to get the silly little snacks. It was as if she just lost her best friend, the world was ending, and there was a fire! I felt so bad. Once we got to the store she ran right to where they are and picked out some Curious George ones. I approve. She got to hold them all the way to the check out and the gal who checked us out was so smart, she asked Rae for them and then gave them right back. It was great. And well worth it.

However, it did get me thinking about the things people care about too much. For us it is Gummies. We put too much stock in colored squishy stuff. There is the guy who came into my work and got all pissy because of pickles. You know the little green thing you can PICK off your food. I really wondered if his parents cut up his food for him until he was 16. Then there is the other gal who orders the most complicated drink ever and yet no matter how much I mess it up she thanks me and drinks it with a smile. Yeah we know what we like, but most people can just move on deal with it. T-rex also deals with this stuff all the time. There was a guy who made T-rex write a damage report on something to that costs less than $2.00 to replace. It was old and worn out anyway but because some punk kids were being punk kids T-rex has to deal with some old guy who can’t seem to just let stuff go. Or the people T-rex pulls over, so far most of them have said “Thank you” after getting their ticket. But still the look of “how can you give ME a ticket” gives T-rex a laugh.

I know I am not immune to the issue of silly things being important. I still have MY blanket, and I freak out whenever T-rex sits on it. Lilly can’t have her food touch, and Dino loves Ramen. T-rex even has his little things that matter, and if it does not go right there is a little meltdown. But I don’t think any of us will be silly enough to freak out so much that we call the cops or go off on an employee doing their job. Then again, people are crazy.

recap

So, things are just going along. Nothing to exciting going on around here, other than a sleep deprived T-rex asking if we had to pay anything to check books out at the Library. That was kind of funny. But people do and say silly things when they have not had a lot of sleep.

Talking about sleep, we are getting a new bed! In all the years we have been married (7) we have never gotten a new bed! It has always been a hand me down from someone who had their bed for 40+ years and they NEEDED a new one, well being young and poor we NEEDED any bed! We went downtown today after I got off work and found one we just love! It will be much better than this waterbed frame with a used waterbed mattress (It’s a “real mattress” just made to fit in a waterbed). It will come after the first of the year, and we will pay for it then, so it is going to be our “new thing for the new year” like I did as a kid!

Work has been kicking my butt! I hate to say this but I am a big baby. When get busy and I still get a little overwhelmed. Then there are the teenagers who stand there and look at me getting busy and still do nothing. Or the girl who I nearly slapped in the face! Ugh. I asked her to drop more fries for me (I even said please!) she said “I just dropped some”. I said “I know please put more down I will need them” and what do you know, I end up having to wait on fries because this punk kid would not do anything and I was busy running my butt off, oh to top it off the whole time she was standing there looking at the oil. This is just a small portion of what I deal with at work. I thought it was going to be better than dealing with 6 year olds all day, I was wrong. They listen about the same. I just know that if I acted like that when I was in high school working at fast food place my dad would have come into the store and pulled me out by my ears. You don’t bring shame to your family like that.

But then again I look back on my High school years and yeah I may have been working at work, and I may have always helped the customer by my coworkers hated me. I was bossy and mean, and well they still annoyed me. I guess it is good to know that I have grown up a little, but not too much. I would hate to act all grownupish!

The kids are doing okay, they like that I am working. But they are also acting out a lot more than normal right now. Mostly Rae, I think she is having a hard time with me not being home as much. But she is home with daddy and we have been able to avoid getting a babysitter or daycare so far. I don’t think we will have to get a sitter too much if at all. But T-rex’s job still comes first and I don’t want to miss my work just because he gets a call out.

I missed the Christmas program the kids put on at church, which kind of made me sad. Not because I really wanted to go. I am sure that if I were home I would have tried to get out of it. But I guess I got sad not being able to go. T-rex said he really liked getting to go he often times has to miss the little plays or programs the kids put on because of work. I think that him being home with the kids more and not being able to take on all the extra little jobs is going to be nice. Still there is that chance that he is going to get a call out when I am at work and we will have to deal with that. I don’t want to lose my job because of his, yet I know that his is way more important to the family and to him than mine is to me. I don’t know I guess I am feeling a little guilt about not being able to be there for everything in my kids’ lives. Yet I know it will not kill them, and it might even be good for all of us.



Well just some thoughts going around in my head right now. Nothing too big to report. OH! I got a C in my Spanish class, and I am not upset about this at all! But I did have a dream I only got 2 points on my last big paper for Social inequality, which was upsetting. Grades are not going to be posted for another week, I hope I don’t have any more bad dreams.

Why I hate Christmas/ There is no Santa!

(I am sure I am going to get some degree of hate mail for this, and a fair amount of “you’re wrong Yellow”)

The thoughts of a Christian. . . .

I grew up not celebrating Christmas or Halloween. All other holidays were fair game, and Thanksgiving was my Mothers Favorite, followed closely by Easter (which was a chocolate collection never to be topped). It was not really a religious thing; I grew up going to the Nazarene church or a Baptist Church from time to time. So we were outcasts around Christmas. I didn’t like it and I thought my Parents were just mean for too many years. For that I am sorry, because now as I am older and wiser (or so I like to think) I agree with my parents 100%

So before you call me a mean nasty Grinch who hates happy times let me explain. And as for the “gifts” many years we would a new thing for the New Year, and at some point near High School we started to celebrate Hanukkah in honor of my Mom’s side of the family. Gifts for Hanukkah are little things like Chocolate, and money.

Okay so why do I hate Christmas? So many reasons! Let’s start with the reason my parents gave me as a child, well most of the time they gave me this reason. . .

Jeremiah 10:1-5 "Hear ye the word which the LORD speaketh unto you, O house of Israel: "Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: For one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers that it move not. They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: They must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good."



Okay let’s look at that first. It says not to take a tree from the forest. Lilly tried to tell me that our tree came from the store so it’s not the same thing. I hope most people are smarter than my smart 6 year old and can gather that it is still the same thing. Next it says not to deck it with gold and silver, hum. . . what color are most of your ornaments? What about the fact that we are still decorating it look all nice? (BTW I do love looking at the trees, they are pretty). What about not nailing it down so it cannot move? Yep they even make fancy little stands for the real trees, and all the fake tress I have ever seen come with a fancy little stand thing.

To be fair all of this is talking about not making an idol out of a tree. So many Christians say it is not that big of a deal. But, then why do it? And isn’t putting gifts under something or at the feet of something kind of like worshipping it? If it is not then really forgoing the Christmas tree should not be that big of a deal.

***For some reason it seems to me that versus is kind of like God’s warning to us all, and the writers of the time were all like “What in the world is God talking about, why would anyone do something so silly” so they downplayed it. But God was all like “trust me they will come up with a reason to make this normal and okay, heck they will even do this silly thing in my name, making all the worse.” So the little thing got stuck in the bible and the people back then thought it was crazy, after all only a heathen or loon would go pick a tree to decorate it and put gifts under it. *** (I have a fun imagination)



The next big thing my parents would say to me was ‘If this is to be Jesus birthday then why are YOU getting presents?” Well as a kid I never did have a comeback for that other than, because Jesus wants us to be happy. And I am still sure that God wants us all to be happy and have nice things, but if we are going to really Celebrate this holiday as Jesus birthday then we really should not be worried about getting gifts, I mean it’s like saying to Dino “It is your birthday so we are going to take all your friends out to the pool.”



Now people say it is about Giving, yeah I don’t really get into that. Not at least for the young kids who are only really worried about what they are GETTING. Never have I heard kids around 6 years old tell Santa what they want to give. Rather, we go around and ask for stuff, make lists, and tell some fake dude what we want. It’s wrong.



Which bring me to my two second issues, first it’s about the Greed. I am sure that some adults can forgo the greed of “I WANT” for the holiday, and some really do think about what they are getting other people, but for the most part it is just about greed. I think greedy people are nasty. I don’t care if people say “oh they are only kids” kids cannot learn to not be greedy if we always ask them what they want, let them tell strangers what they want, and then get what they want. Also it is not just the kids! I have seen too many adults who are greedy around this time of year, now sure there is typically some giving going on, almost always someone is shopping for someone else, but there is still a lot of greed and guilt going on there. People shop for others more out of obligation around this time of year than just because; in fact some people never shop for others unless it is a young person’s birthday or Christmas.

Then there is the whole “Santa” Thing. Why is it okay to lie to children for the sake of the “holiday spirit” Which as far as I know the bible only talks about the Holy Spirit, but eh. Year’s later children find out that Santa is not real, and then there is some drama to deal with. Sure most take it easy, but I also hear too many stories of kids getting upset. Well I would be upset if my parents lied to me too. So in that end there is NO Santa in my house, my children 6, 5, 3 all know that there is no real Santa, no magic little people making gifts all night, no flying reindeer. We also have no tooth fairy, no Easter bunny, and so on.

Then there is always the fact that Christmas started out as a way for the church to gain more membership, or at least not upset the status quo by using Pagan holidays. Not that I am saying Pagan holidays are evil (that may be one area I will never be a “good Christian” in; I don’t think different is bad). I am just saying that is what it was. FACT. And the “Good Christians” who say it is about Jesus are misinformed at best, and stubborn or greedy at worst. Saying it’s not like the Pagans because you are trying to Celebrate the birth of Christ is like me saying I am not doing anything wrong just because I am in a crack house, checking out the crack, and hanging out with crack heads an drug dealers. Um, sure. I can call an orange an apple all I want; it will still be an orange.

There is always the argument that people don’t know when Jesus was born, because there is no real date in the bible (Sheppards out with their sheep can happen in the dead of winter?!) It is just natural that the Celebration takes place around the time of other holidays. Um, yeah does not really fit, not if one were to be true to the holiday.

So I don’t get this celebration. The facts of the holiday do not mesh up with what Christians say about the holiday. In many ways it seems to be going against the word of God, at the very least it is currently against the spirit of God.

So as my 3 year old told the girl at McDonalds today “Santa is not real, and I am good all the times”. That is how it should be, or at least I think so. Yet I sit here to type this out next to our tree, with gifts wrapped nicely under, and a stack of Christmas cards to go out as soon as I get to the post office. It just seems to be the most hypocritical holiday ever, and I am not really into the lies or greed. BTW all three of the girls are not getting what they want but something I know they will like and enjoy; something that is fun, something that says it is a party after all!



PS: Oh Dad are you going to get lights up this year? Ha ha ha! Yeah me neither!


*also, don't you ever wonder why suicides are the highest around this time of year?  Yes, the lack of light plays a part, but there is also the guilt that seems to come with holidays, and the feeling of being alone.

I am DONE!

I just got all my finals done! I am so happy that stress is done with for about a month or so. My last semester of college starts January 10th. Well I hope it is my last semester, but there is a good chance I am going to go for my masters in a few years. But I am going to take a few years off. This has kicked my butt.

This semester has been the worst yet, with a lot of last minute test taking, and reports written at the very last minute. Adding work into the mix sure did mess up my last minute system. Next semester I am adding an extra class so I can be done. I hope that I am able to keep up on my work. Spanish should not be too bad now that I am getting some of it. The grammar part still does not click, but hey it does not click for me in English either.

So today I am off to sell back my books, then I work for like ever, and before I even get home T-rex is going to work for the P.D. at some grant rate pay! His pay is great when he gets to do that. All just in time for the holidays! I hope that I have some time off around Christmas, but if not at least when I get home from work I can spend time with the kids or clean the house and not write some report about how people are only deviant because we say they are. Yeah some deep thinking going on (Not really).

Here is to letting my brain go dead for a few weeks! Hope that everyone is having a great time with the holiday stuff. Should be a fun year around here.

So, this is what it is like

Wow, never have a laughed so hard at something so stupid!

I was all excided to get to have dinner with T-rex. The kids were going to be at youth group, I was off work (in what seemed like the first day in forever, even if it was only two days), and T-rex was going to be on the road on a Wednesday night, so not too busy. I called him to let him know to be at subway around 5 and we could grab a bite to eat.

He was late, I was getting sad thinking he was going to “stand me up.” Even if it is work related it doesn’t feel any better to not have him around. I still get sad that we can’t make real plans, even if I know he is working. I deal with it and move on. He called and was able to make it out just a little late. As soon as he gets there I ask if he is going to get a call out as soon as we sit down. He gave me a nasty look, knocked on wood, and said he sure hoped not!

But then things took a comic turn for the worst.

Drunk old guy: “Hey are you sheriff?”

T-rex: “Yes I am.”

Drunk old guy : “well, I am too drunk to ride my bike back home, P.D. Officer will give me a ride sometimes.”

T-rex: “Yeah, do you have any I.D. on you?”

Drunk old Guy: “Yeah, I aren’t no terrorist. I own the house even. I just am too drunk to ride home, I am old my body isn’t so good.”

T-rex: “what’s the address and your date of birth?”

Drunk old guy: “March 5th 1743 I mean 1942 no 1949”

ME: “hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” (sad look at T-rex)

T-rex: “Go sit down right there I am going run this and we will get ya home.”

Drunk Old Guy: “Yeah my body aren’t too good”

Me: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA” (laughing at T-rex) “Can I get some money? I will just bring your food home.”

T-rex: (hands me some money, gives me a dirty look and then gets on the radio) “Dispatch this is 123, . . . . . .” (Cop talk follows. I don’t)



T-rex got the drunken guys bike put in his truck and was off. I was still laughing my butt off. I cannot do this drunken guy justice. He was far too funny! Rubber bands on his pants, dirty cloths, a book bag full of God knows what, and a gruff unshaven face complete the drunken look. I guess T-rex didn’t knock on wood soon enough. Or it was just a sign I should not get all happy about a date!

I still think T-rex should have written him a ticket for public intoxication. But, as T-rex said “At least the guy didn’t end up a stain on the road that I would have to deal with later, I would rather do this.” Well I would rather people don’t get so drunk that they can’t ride a bike home! I mean really Old Drunk guy you were able to make it out to get something to eat.

People are Crazy!

Well it is true, people are crazy.

My family is no exception, but I hear it skips a generation. . .my parents are normal . . .I am screwed.

But please tell me if I ever get as bad as one of the customers I dealt with last night!

Customer makes some crazy sandwich order, add this don’t put that on it etc. . .

ME: “Okay if everything looks correct on the screen please pull around.”

COG (Crazy Old Guy): “What’s that nugget things? I didn’t order no chicken! Just two fries and my senior coffee!”  (There were NO nuggests on the order, just the two chicken sandwiches he had ordered)

ME: “Um okay? What were the two sandwiches you ordered?”

COG: “NONE!”

Me: “Okay if everything is now correct please pull around.”

COG gets to the window pays, I then hand out his food and he asks. . .

COG: “DO you have my SANDWICHES?!”

ME: “No, I tried to ask what they were at the screen. What can I add on here for you?”

COG: repeats the SAME sandwiches I had to take off the order just moments before.

ME: “Okay that will be x.xx”

COG: “WHAT? I have to pay for them?! “

ME: “Yes, and we are busy with orders that are behind you, they ordered at the SCREEN, so after you pay please pull forward and we will bring that out too you just as soon as we can! : )”

COG was not happy with this new development. But the drunkenness in his voice made me not really care. However, it was in that moment that I had a GREAT idea! You see I think all the cops should work undercover at the local fast food places, one Friday night and I bet you can write at least 30 tickets for random things like no seatbelts, 20 or so for open container, and a good 15 or more for pot smokers.

Until then I think I will just sit back and enjoy the show that is society. And hope that if I ever get that crazy people put me in a home, a nice one with locks on the doors.

Yet another new first. . . .

I wanted to write something funny, something entertaining, maybe even something educational. I have even put pen to paper, or fingers to keys, in an attempt to write out what has been going on in a way that would, you know, not suck. The 13 pages of words I have saved in a folder called “BAD DON’T POST!” Do not do my thoughts justice.


This past week T-rex saw his first dead body. There it is said it is out there! But as it is his first dead body it is my first time being the support. And in many ways I feel like I get the short end of the stick here. He is now “one of the guys” well more “one of the guys”. In many ways it is just one more thing that they guys deal with that makes them more of a secret club. It is one more thing that they hold in common, that they can all relate too. It does nothing but furthers my alienation from society. (As if being married to a cop was not bad enough!)

He has a team of people telling him what might happen to him, how to deal with it, and what things to look out for. I have my little self-help books and sociology background. Mostly I am alone. Even other police wives have little advice other than to follow his lead, don’t push him to talk about it, listen when he wants to talk. I am new to this too. And I am sure that the changes this will bring in my life are nothing compared to what T-rex is going to have to deal with, there still are changes in my life because of this. I am now here to deal with whatever fall out there maybe.

Truth be told, I think that T-rex is going to deal with things very well, all things considered. This was not just a normal looking body, but as I have gathered one that was not in a state for an open casket or anything. I am sure that has to take some toll on him. I am grateful I have not had to see this. But then again T-rex is a fan of the gory movies, and I think in part he has desensitized himself to gore and death. And although he says the smell might get to him I think his gas has prepared him for that too! But there is no real training a wife can take to prepare herself for the changes a husband goes through when being a cop. Everything has changed, and keeps changing. I worry sometimes that he will become cynical like so many do, or that he will see the world as full of cops and criminals. I have hope that he will not, I know that he is a strong caring man, and that he understands that there is good in the world, but it is getting harder and harder to see.

The day after dealing with the dead body T-rex had to work a petty property damage case. He was conflicted, or at least sounded that way, and as any wife would tell you what a man says and feels are not always what a woman hears and thinks. But he made a note of saying that it was dumb, this guy could replace the property for under $20.00 and yet was all upset about it. T-rex could not find the empathy when all he could think about was how quick life could end. On the good side he did say he found greater joy in the small things like Rae coming down to sleep with him (even if she was to get him up) the hugs of a 5 year old brought a great big smile to his face. I guess that is good for we all often forget how quick life can change.

For me I just sit back and hope to not see any signs of stress from T-rex. I hope that he does not get angry, or gain what I call the “Jerk disorder.” There are a million books out there that will tell me how this might affect him, but none can really say how this might affect me. I know now and for the rest of my life that my husband has had to see something that I would not be able to handle. And not only has he had to see it but he has had to come home to his family and children and not be able to talk much about it, has had to deal with it on his own, and has to get up and keep going each day. I can do nothing but worry how this will affect him later in life. I cannot help the new worry.

So it’s not funny, entertaining, or even really educational. But it is what I am dealing with right now. It is what is going on with the cop’s wife. In many ways it is why this blog is here. I don’t want other wives to go around thinking it’s odd that they are upset their husband had to deal with something nasty. I am affected by some of the things that go on at his work. He does not try to bring it home, but if it is going to have an effect on him it will have an effect on me.

Work

Today was my first day working outside of my house in over 3 years. Now I cannot say with a straight face that it is a “real job” I am working Fast Food when T-rex is home with the kids, but it is something to get me out of the house and maybe a little shoe money! I worked at the same chain store in a different town when in High School so I was sure I would be able to get things down fairly fast. I was surprised.

First I have learned that in general people do not get any smarter, old people do not get any faster and mean people still breed.

But that aside, I had a great time. I picked up a lot of the stuff fairly fast, although there is still a lot I still need to learn. Like all the new drinks, and there are a few other things that have changed over the years. T-rex was kind to point out to me that I don’t know everything and I should not act like I do on the first day. Well that was nice, he forgot to point out that there is that mean nasty person working at every place, and that my pee would no longer be mine to control but the clock that moved ever so slow on the first day!

And even though part of me wants to scream “I am better than this!” I know that right now finding a place that will work around T-rex’s crazy hours, my children, and my schooling is important if I want to work, and I do want to work! I want a few hours where I am not thinking about my husband and kids! I am sure that sound selfish and like I am a bad mom, but ya know what. . .I don’t care! After 6+ years of working only for the family, or not working, of giving up everything for my kids and my husband I want something MINE. I am not mad or resentful that I have given up working where I want, going to school how I want, living where I want and so on. I know that it is the right thing to do and it makes me VERY happy that I have been able to stay home, but I want shoe money! Okay I really just want a conversation about something other than 6 year heart breaks and 5 year olds snot! So I am working at a silly fast food joint for shoe money, me time, and maybe to relive some of my High School days?! I noticed that today. . I worked there in High School, then I graduated, got married, had my first child, and became a mostly stay at home all within a year.

So oh well! I don’t care. That was the second thing I noticed today. I am not going to be the peon, I am not looking for a promotion, I am not going to bust my butt for this job like I did before, I am not going to give a darn what the others think about me, and I am going to go in to do my time, enjoy no children (although I have found that my children are smarter than some of the masses!), and get my pay twice a month and go get some shoes or something LOL!



I also noticed that I might not be well liked because of who T-rex is. . Oh well! I don’t care. I am not there to nark on the pot heads or underage drinkers. That’s the cops’ job and truth is I just don’t care! I am just going to put in my time, and have fun  :)