Wow, never have a laughed so hard at something so stupid!
I was all excided to get to have dinner with T-rex. The kids were going to be at youth group, I was off work (in what seemed like the first day in forever, even if it was only two days), and T-rex was going to be on the road on a Wednesday night, so not too busy. I called him to let him know to be at subway around 5 and we could grab a bite to eat.
He was late, I was getting sad thinking he was going to “stand me up.” Even if it is work related it doesn’t feel any better to not have him around. I still get sad that we can’t make real plans, even if I know he is working. I deal with it and move on. He called and was able to make it out just a little late. As soon as he gets there I ask if he is going to get a call out as soon as we sit down. He gave me a nasty look, knocked on wood, and said he sure hoped not!
But then things took a comic turn for the worst.
Drunk old guy: “Hey are you sheriff?”
T-rex: “Yes I am.”
Drunk old guy : “well, I am too drunk to ride my bike back home, P.D. Officer will give me a ride sometimes.”
T-rex: “Yeah, do you have any I.D. on you?”
Drunk old Guy: “Yeah, I aren’t no terrorist. I own the house even. I just am too drunk to ride home, I am old my body isn’t so good.”
T-rex: “what’s the address and your date of birth?”
Drunk old guy: “March 5th 1743 I mean 1942 no 1949”
ME: “hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” (sad look at T-rex)
T-rex: “Go sit down right there I am going run this and we will get ya home.”
Drunk Old Guy: “Yeah my body aren’t too good”
Me: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA” (laughing at T-rex) “Can I get some money? I will just bring your food home.”
T-rex: (hands me some money, gives me a dirty look and then gets on the radio) “Dispatch this is 123, . . . . . .” (Cop talk follows. I don’t)
T-rex got the drunken guys bike put in his truck and was off. I was still laughing my butt off. I cannot do this drunken guy justice. He was far too funny! Rubber bands on his pants, dirty cloths, a book bag full of God knows what, and a gruff unshaven face complete the drunken look. I guess T-rex didn’t knock on wood soon enough. Or it was just a sign I should not get all happy about a date!
I still think T-rex should have written him a ticket for public intoxication. But, as T-rex said “At least the guy didn’t end up a stain on the road that I would have to deal with later, I would rather do this.” Well I would rather people don’t get so drunk that they can’t ride a bike home! I mean really Old Drunk guy you were able to make it out to get something to eat.