Like things are not hard enough right now, he has to add to the stress!
He calls me today to share something new he has learned at the academy.
T-rex: “Hey babe, I learned something new today.”
Me: “Cool, what did you learn?”
T-rex: “Did you know that most cops who are shot are shot by their own gun?”
My mom says I have a habit of hanging up on people when I am mad at them. Well now that I have a clear head I can say she might be right about that. I guess I will work on that.
What was he thinking? Really! He needed to tell me that. I have had a very good system going here! I ignore any real danger he might be in, and tell the psychologist in me to shut up. She listens well enough and I go on blind to any danger that our cops are in. I am sure this is not a very healthy way of coping with things, but I think it’s working well enough for now.
T-rex being as he is says I am sheep. (Check out the books by LT. Col. Dave Grossman to find out what that means) He thinks that I need to be less like a sheep and more like a sheep dog. I try to tell him dogs smell funny. He does not seem to care. To T-rex it is better to know all the evils of the world and face them. To me if I did that every day I would die of worry. I know that there are risks with his job. I get that every day is a risk for him and all our officers. But I cannot stop living my life out of the fear he might. So to him I say “baa baa.”
The real pain is how he always has to share this mortality news at the worst time. Like after a night of bad dreams, or reading about an officer who gave up his life trying to save another. I guess his timing will always be bad. But I love him so what am I to do? I think I will just call him back and tell him he better not got shot with his own gun, or I will be really mad.