A police wife’s shower

I hate to shower, bathe, or take a long . . . . restroom break. After all when are you more vulnerable then when you have your pants at your feet? It does not help that T-rex loves horror movies. In horror movies the cute girl always goes first! (I am doomed!) And most of the time it is because she can’t hear or see what is coming to get her, because she is doing something dumb, like taking a show at midnight!

Image by Capt. Tim via Flickr

I also don’t like showers, baths, or restroom breaks because I have three kids. Put a 2 year old, a 5 year old, and a 6 year old in a room alone and what do you think happens? I will tell you, a mess happens.

My mornings are crazy. I am not a morning person. By the time I am up, kids are feed, and things are never calm enough to take a shower if the kids are up!

So showers got moved to after the kids were in bed. This was also not a good idea. By the time I am ready for bed, or a shower its dark out. Dark is the universal signal for dumb stuff to happen and freak me out. It never fails, I get all ready and there is a sound. Put pants and shirt back on to find a kid out of bed. Go back into restroom; get ready again, only to hear another sound. This will go on about 3 or 4 times, most of the sounds are just the house or my head. Eventually the sounds will stop until I turn the water on. This causes a lot of on and off of the water. By the time I am done with the shower I more stressed then when I got in. It has gotten so bad I have thought of showering in a swim suit. I wonder if we can waterproof a Glock?

Oh well, I can’t go around stinking. So, I am off to take my 35.6 second “shower.” I should be done in about 20 minutes.